Unanswered [22] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

A breakdown of the rainwater phase collected and reused for household needs


fardan10 18 / 25 1  
Apr 2, 2016   #1
hello friends, this is my writing IELTS task I, please give me suggestion to boost my writing skills:

A break down of the rainwater phase collected and reused for household needs is illustrated by diagram. Overall, there are two main schemes of collecting water before canalising to the house.

To begin with, rain falls produce a vast amount of water will be collected in dam as a water deposit. Afterwards, it is distributed in the water treatment plants so as to make it properly to consume as drinking water and other purposes. The excess of consumption from the house is carried to the wastewater treatment plant for puryfing process or canalised to the river.

At the same time, when rains, it is provided a water tank to store the water. It is linked by pipe-line to the homes for being utilised to fulfill domestic needs, while the rest is canalised by drain-pipe where connected to the drainage. After being consumed for certain needs, it is sent to the wastewater treatment plant. It is recycled to reuse again and the rest will be sent to the river.




LaPolo11 12 / 28  
Apr 2, 2016   #2
i'd like to give some advice, hopefully it will be useful.

arrange the sentence with proper subject-verb agreement.

the information presented is not well-arranged.

my opinion is, you need to plan where you put the information. imagine that the readers will understand your explanation without seeing the charts and tables. it means main and supporting ideas should be properly separated and clear.

as i read from the text, it is pretty confusing
.
for example : At the same time, when rains, it is provided a water tank to store the water.
it is very difficult to understand,,
adrian21 15 / 17 3  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
... for household needs is illustrated byin the diagram. Overall, there are two main schemes of collecting water before canalisingflowing to the house.


Home / Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the rainwater phase collected and reused for household needs