Unanswered [18] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS Task 1: A breakdown of how much wheat exported by three regions from 1985 to 1990


akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Jan 19, 2016   #1
A breakdown of how much wheat exported by three regions from 1985 to 1990, a 6-year period is presented in the line chart. Overall, it is important to note that the proportion of the wheat exports for the figure in European community rose significantly, while Canada remained virtually unchanged. In any case, by far the lowest trend was seen in Australia.

Initially, the number of the wheat exports in Canada broke a record as the highest proportion at approximately 19 million tonnes. In the following year, Australia's exports significantly increased to 16%, while another figure saw a gradual decrease prior to increasing in 1987. Surprisingly, European community successfully over took Australia's figure in the export activity.

By 1988, the wheat exports of Canadians had continuously grown and peaked at 25 million tonnes. Meanwhile, European community had remained stable, with almost at a half of Canada's figure. In 1989, while the proportion of Canada exports experienced a dramatic drop by roughly 11 million tonnes, another region surpassed it. However, the previous trend rose back to the 1985 figure in the next year.



Riiskacha03 31 / 34 5  
Jan 19, 2016   #2
A breakdown of how much wheat exportedthe number of the abroad shipment of wheat by three regions Australia, Canada and European, from 1985 to 1990

I will suggest you some synonym for "wheat exports"
- sold overseas/abroad
- marketed overseas/abroad,
- sent overseas/abroad
- traded internationally

take this sentence as an example, "Overall, it is important to note that the proportion of the marketed overseas wheat"

while the proportion of Canada exports experienced a dramatic drop by roughly 11 million tonnes, another region surpassed it
in my opinion, you should mention what country this 'another ' refers to, since there are two another region there and just on of them which is surpassed Canada, just to make it clearer to notice without review the graph many times.

However, the previous trend rose back to the 1985 figurein the next year.in the remaining period.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: A breakdown of how much wheat exported by three regions from 1985 to 1990