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IELTS Writing Task 2: Bring in foreign workers

dongocbaotram 1 / -  
Jun 2, 2021   #1
Bringing in foreign workers to fill positions that domestic workers are unwilling to do can cause problems in the local community and should therefore be stopped.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, appointing immigrants to positions that are not to the local preference is no longer an unfamiliar phenomenon in developed countries. As far as I am concerned, this policy should be abolished because it has a negative effect on the local inhabitants.

Firstly, that companies hire immigrants gives rise to the declining economic structure of the host country. Abroad workers seek jobs that do not require essential skills or expert knowledge, and those to their liking are often located in remote areas. Unfortunately, local residents, the majority of whom are unskilled workers, also earn a living on the same types of career. Generally speaking, it is predicted that there will be an income competition between domestic and foreign workers, and there is likelihood of already low-paid local workers being more underpaid as a result of the increasing number of immigrants.

Secondly, cultural disturbance in the local community stems from the surge in the number of foreign workers. Inevitably, people coming from outside will bring their traditions, rules, lifestyles and working etiquettes to the host country. Admittedly, cultural diversity is a positive development, but excessive interference from an external culture is prone to upset the local fabric of society. For example, as foreign workers who fulfill vacant positions often lack proper work attitudes, their presence in the local working environment may worsen the native's working manners. Likewise, the daily routine is also affected due to different traffic rules, causing a number of horrific accidents to occur.

In conclusion, I completely agree that giving domestically unwanted employment to immigrants is associated with various disadvantages to the local community. It is because this policy diminishes employment prospects and ruins the daily life of native workpersons.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,582 4452  
Jun 2, 2021   #2

Wrong word usage. By meaning this refers to: a fact, occurrence, or circumstance observed or observable. Use a more natural sounding word. The descriptive word "occurrence" would be more appropriate to use. Though phenomenon is a more high brow sounding word. It does not naturally fit into the written piece. The LR score increases not through - the use of complicated words, but through the proper use of everyday, commonly used English words . Regardless of the simplicity of the word being used. When used to infer the collect meaning, it helps your score.

You created a discussion deviation which means you have not properly responded to the discussion question. for your reference :

O.Q . : To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Response: As far as I am concerned, this policy should be abolished because it has a negative effect on the local inhabitants.

You failed to give an extent response. Instead you gave a personal opinion that does not respond to the direct question. You responded in an incorrect format that would result in a failing TA score.

In conclusion, I completely agree

This is your direct response to the question. It should be in the prompt paraphrase response section first, then repeated in the conclusion second to meet the correct response format requirement.

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