Wrong word usage. By meaning this refers to: a fact, occurrence, or circumstance observed or observable. Use a more natural sounding word. The descriptive word "occurrence" would be more appropriate to use. Though phenomenon is a more high brow sounding word. It does not naturally fit into the written piece. The LR score increases not through - the use of complicated words, but through the proper use of everyday, commonly used English words . Regardless of the simplicity of the word being used. When used to infer the collect meaning, it helps your score.
You created a discussion deviation which means you have not properly responded to the discussion question. for your reference :
O.Q . : To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Response: As far as I am concerned, this policy should be abolished because it has a negative effect on the local inhabitants.
You failed to give an extent response. Instead you gave a personal opinion that does not respond to the direct question. You responded in an incorrect format that would result in a failing TA score.
In conclusion, I completely agree
This is your direct response to the question. It should be in the prompt paraphrase response section first, then repeated in the conclusion second to meet the correct response format requirement.