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annahatef 30 / 9 7  
Jan 11, 2016   #1
Nowadays in many families the grandparents are responsible for bringing up children. Is it a good or bad development for grandparents? Give your own opinion and examples.

These days growing children is one of duties of grandparents. I agree grandparents can benefit considerably. Some people believe that it is very good chance for grandparents, while other contend that taking care of children by grandparents is not good for these old people. This essay is explained it is good situation for senior people to bring up their grandchildren.

To begin with, taking care of young children has several demerits for grandparents. Old people can tolerate some noise and behavior. Therefore, when young children make noise, they become upset and tired. After some hours, they fight to children. Moreover, to keep young adult may cost for elderly. So, they have to spend money from their saving money. For the long run, they may lose their whole money. For example my mother always buys many junk food for her grandchild.

However, being grandparents with young children has many advantages. First old people become busy by young children and are not alone. Therefore, they become less depressed. Also, children give their grandparents a huge amount of energy. Because, they are too young and do not know any things. Teaching and answering different adolescence make adult to become motivated to read and extend their knowledge.

Moreover, young children may give chance to find more entertainment to grandparents. Since grandparents should go to park and amazing parks or cinemas to entertainment their grandparents, they communicate with new parents and other aged people.

In conclusion, keeping care of young children has many benefits to older people. Communicating with new people, becoming motivated to increase their knowledge and reducing their possibility of depression are common positive side of these behavior.

kitkat 4 / 6 1  
Jan 11, 2016   #2
good topic over all ad enjoyable to read.
I strongly recommend increasing your diction and using more complex vocabulary
this along with the expansion and making your sentences should really increase the stamina that you will present through this essay
good work over all though :)
jon4659 2 / 8 2  
Jan 11, 2016   #3
This essay needs depth, the entire essay is essentially a list of reasons for or against with no evidence to back it up. For example you state "First old people become busy by young children and are not alone. Therefore, they become less depressed." How do you know this? Is there an article or paper you pulled this from which you have forgot to reference? Are old people depressed to begin with? If so, how do you know this?

Asking yourself these questions will vastly improve this essay, if you provide evidence, details and examples you will have a strong essay rather than a list.

On the other hand you have a good grasp of how an essay should be structured, looking at both sides of the argument is an essential skill and your conclusion rounds things off nicely.

So just add what I have mentioned above and you will have a fantastic essay!