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IELTS Writing Task 2: British's Pollution due to use of cars


indah_hai 19 / 38 4  
Feb 5, 2014   #1
The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads.
Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The invention of a car in Briton had arguably one of the popular news in1888. Some experts found that car is a simply tool which could bring human and their stuff in a time to go easily to destination. It is inevitable that Briton's request of car had grown 29 million and its pollution since the appearance in society. While some researchers believe that there is alternate forms to reduce the pollution, I think international laws is a preference way to find the solving problem

As the matter of fact, nowadays, inhabitants have at least one car in a family. A car is believed a tool which could bring someone fast to a destination, and it is good to have a car because human is provided by a comfort and private seat. The general view has shown that a car is one of the Briton's basic needs, because it could deliver them to school, work and market and so on. Especially in working hours Briton's road packed with the cars.

Interestingly, Inhabitants also believe that their cars influence vehicles which is followed some matters; traffic and health, and it is urgent to find solving problem for in their environment. Britons presume that their government should build suitable solution for their environment. Thus, British government found that alternative means of transport is needed. Buses, train, tram, for instance, are the possible means to be a problem solving to reduce the pollution and traffic. However, the government should spend a lot of spending to build these infrastructures, and also this maintenance needs a long-term to succeed.

Having said that alternative means are expensive, researchers think that international law could encourage decreasing of car using. The government should forbid more than one car ownership in a house or Briton should pay fine as much as their car price to government. So this decision will reduce private transport using included the vehicle problem.

As far as I am concerned, international rule is an urgent to control British pollution. This means government could arrange a long-term plan to cover other means for inhabitants. I believe that Britons themselves should involve their environment problems.

Fardhani Putri 23 / 46 7  
Feb 5, 2014   #2
It is inevitable that Briton's request of car had grown 29 million and its pollution since the appearance in society.

...its refers to??..

Interestingly, Inhabitants also believe that their cars influence vehicles which is followed some matters

.. what the sentence means?

However, the government should spend a lot of spending to build these infrastructures

, maybe you can choose different word

Buses, train, tram, for instance, ...

, better if you write trains, trams

The general view has shown that a car is one of the Briton's basic needs, because it could deliver them

and

So this decision will reduce private

pay attention with commas..

Having said that alternative means are expensive, researchers think that international law could encourage decreasing of car using.

what is the relevance between two sentences?

I believe that Britons themselves should involve their environment problems.

...is it proper word to use involve?
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 5, 2014   #3
The invention of a car in Briton had arguably one of the popular news in1888.

Well, this is a bit different from the inference you get from your prompt which says -

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888.

This does not mean about invention of cars, but UK had cars running in the city for the first time in 1888. And it does not talk anything about news about invention of cars. So, you need to stay with the prompt. Do not interpret the prompt differently to the reader.
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Feb 5, 2014   #4
You did not answer the question between agree or disagree. As long as i know, when you write the introduction that it will be better if you write in the general, because you mention "pollution" and it means that you tell the specific point.

a long-term to succeed.

long-term period

Perhaps, it will be better if you compose your body paragraph with this pattern:
1. Case
2. Example
3. Discussion
4. Conclusion

If you have a question 'agree-disagree' you can explain disagree in the body 1 and agree in the body 2.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Feb 5, 2014   #5
While some researchers believe that there is alternate forms to reduce the pollution, I think international laws is a preference way to find the solving problem

you mist the pull stop (.)

work and market and so on.

Especially in working hours Briton's road packed with the cars.

this sentence not containing verb

I believe that Britons themselves should involve their environment problems.

this conclusion is unnecessary while your topic describes about your agreement of international law to boundary personal car

well done


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