Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 8

IELTS task 2: What to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers.


eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Mar 3, 2014   #1
Hellooo Freinds...
I'm preparing an IELTS exam. I need feedbcak. Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammar.

Question:
News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?

================================================

Answer:
News has been part of our life for decades. Many people work behind the process of news making, includes news editor who is fully responsible for picking up suitable news to broadcast or print. There are some considerations used by news editor. One of the considerations is on the location where the events happened. Take a local newspaper for example. Whenever there are some big issues blown up, both in the capital city and in the city itself, the news editor of the local newspaper is going to pick the local issue rather than capital city one. This condition occurs because the sense of local people to local news is bigger.

Another consideration used is on the popularity of the news. Some magazines might take news which discusses 'hot issue' because they see from 'selling point' that they are going to get by blowing up the news. For sure, this consideration is also matched with the characteristics of the media itself. News editor will not harm the reputation of the media by picking up wrong news.

Having above considerations does not guarantee readers will always get good news. Some people realize that the news published or broadcasted is categorized as bad news but they keep reading it as there is only one local newspaper existed in their city. This condition existed since many of them believe that someday, there will be a betterment in the news' quality as time goes by. This expected condition is hoped to achieve because a better quality of news will also affect many sides of life, including better information for the all readers. Let us take students as the example. Students who read good news will be able to learn from fact ideally. They will get a wider point of view if they are getting the access to get reliable information from the news.

To conclude, I believe that good news will be better for the readers as they can get trustful and qualified information. By balancing the guideline of the media to publish the news and the criteria of good news, both sides will get equal benefit.

Vanthai 2 / 5  
Mar 3, 2014   #2
I have some notes :)

News has been part of our life for decades

News has been a part of our life for decades

Many people work behind the process of news making, includes news editor who is f

Many people work behind the process of news making, includes news editor

This condition occurs because the sense of local people to local news is bigger.

This condition occurs because the sense of local people to the local news is bigger.
angel8713 2 / 2  
Mar 3, 2014   #3
hi,
task response is good.But,there are some grammatical errors and sentence making problems.Try to avoid repetition of words.Otherwise,overall essay is good.Keep it up.

regards,
neha
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Mar 3, 2014   #4
includes news editor who is fully responsible

including news editors who are fully responsible

There are some considerations used by news editor.

There are some factors that news editors should take into account.

It's hard to distinguish your introduction from your body paragraph. You don't need to go into details in the introduction and the examples are not quite necessary here. Instead, you should state the main topic of the essay and express your opinion or answer the given question clearly.
Pahan 1 / 1,908 553  
Mar 3, 2014   #5
Many people work behind the process of news making includesincluding news editors who isare fully responsible for picking up suitablethe news tothat would be broadcast or printed.

It's hard to distinguish your introduction from your body paragraph. You don't need to go into details in the introduction and the examples are not quite necessary here. Instead, you should state the main topic of the essay and express your opinion or answer the given question clearly.

Yes, I agree with MisterWandering. You need to separate them clearly. I know you have a good understanding about the structure to follow. I have seen you advising others in their threads too :) So have your first body para separated to give a fresh beginning to the reader to understand the facts of your arguments.
dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Mar 4, 2014   #6
Having above considerations does not guarantee readers will always get good news...

Well, I find this whole para does not answer what your prompt expects :( ... What it asks are;

What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?

you need to answer the above three questions. So, the above para should be more focused on answering "Have we become used to bad news?" Answer that yes or no and justify that position.

Students who read good news will be able to learn from fact ideally.

This idea is not expressed clearly. Better rephrase!
OP eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Mar 13, 2014   #7
I know you have a good understanding about the structure to follow.

Thank you, Pahan.
I experience problems for the intro as the result of constructing the structure in the introductory paragraph.
When I wrote this paragraph, I tried to experiment with what I have had from the IELTS materials compiled. I know this is a not good way if I am continuing this experiential approaches; I didn't do this for the real exam :)
Pahan 1 / 1,908 553  
Mar 13, 2014   #8
Yep, we saw you were improving hell of a lot with your structure each time you posted a new essay. Just got the awesome news about your score at the real exam. Very happy for you. The best way to go about this task is to follow a solid essay structure and improve your time management skills on writing. If you have the essential features with good grammar and vocabulary, then you would be up on the deal :)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: What to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers.