Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Budget - thought-provoking issue among scholars to bring about and to desire for.


eftekharizade 2 / 4  
Feb 11, 2015   #1
When it comes to the word "universities should spend equal budget on both sports and social activities as well as classes and libraries", it usually arouses different responses among people based on their various experiences and dissimilar backgrounds. Some people may frown upon it; however, others might nod their heads at it with a smile on their faces. No matter which category we belong to, the concern on this issue had always been a thought-provoking issue among scholars to bring about and to desire for. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the statement and contend that both of them are equally important in every educational medium. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into my outstanding reasons to elaborate on my viewpoints.

The first and the foremost reason that comes to the mind is that all of the human beings have simultaneously both a mental and a physical aspect. None of them should be ignored to be paid attention in order to have a fruitful education at universities and colleges. If the students were just exposed to good educational facilities, they would soon get bored from studying and researching solely. From my perspective, they also need doing sports and taking part in a variety of social activities in order to keep their balance and refreshment.

Another exquisite point to be mentioned is that in this way the students consider the university a comprehensive and a pleased ambient, so they will be much more encouraged to come willingly to the university as a result of existing both attractive and impressive educational, sports, etc., activities and facilities. Moreover, they also spend most of their time in the academic environment that certainly results in allocating more time to their majors as well.

For the last but not the least reason, I would like to bring up the informative results of a recent study which has been accomplished at Max Plank institute in the Germany. The results of this research show that by providing at the same time educational and recreational facilities in every educational environments, the learning efficiency of students by far will increase as a consequence of making a vibrant and lively atmosphere there. Several universities and schools were considered under this assessment. Some of which had both educational and sports facilities and the others just had educational one. Since the students in the former places got used to participate in sports events and social activities they developed a more efficient sense of learning on their subjects in classes as result of improvement in their mental and physical indexes.

Eventually, taking into account all of the aforementioned factors, despite the fact that not everyone reaches a consensus on this issue, I firmly assert that the university and college authorities ought to spend money on classes and libraries as equally as on sports and social activities in order to reach successful achievements in educating students. However, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are some other reasons and examples, supporting the claim, which are not mentioned above.

Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 11, 2015   #2
You have some issues that i want to point out!
When it comes to the word "universities should spend equal budget on both sports and social activities as well as classes and libraries ", it usually arouses different responses among people based on their various experiences and dissimilar backgrounds. This is too lengthy and tedious. Let us give a try, Equaling budget on both sports and social activities as well as classes and libraries has always been a contentious topic. Some people might be chipper about it, the rest of them would most likely to absolutely disgust it.

No matter which category we belong to, the concern on this issue had always been a thought-provoking issue among scholars to bring about and to desire for. this sentence should be exterminated then !

The first and the foremost reason! this sentence betokens that you are attempting to reach the minimum word count during the writing time.
1.After all, the recommended word count is from 280- 350
2.Examples are necessary in IELTs or TOEFL even if they do not require them from you!
OP eftekharizade 2 / 4  
Feb 11, 2015   #3
Examples are necessary in IELTs or TOEFL even if they do not require them from you!

Thank you very much, indeed. I will take into account your insightful comments in my next writing.

anyway, what's your idea about the rest of my writing, grammar, vocabulary, body paragraphs, punctuation, etc.,

thanks to your time & energy.


Home / Writing Feedback / Budget - thought-provoking issue among scholars to bring about and to desire for.