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IELTS- 2 "Should the Bugdet air travel be blamed for the impact on the environment"


mhss 18 / 53 18  
Mar 25, 2013   #1
Please help me with this IELTS essay.

Q: Some people say cheap air travel is good because it enables ordinary people to travel, while others argue that it is bad for the environment. Discuss both views, and include your opinion.

It has evident from recent records that the number of air travels has increased significantly over the last decade than before. One reason identified for this trend is the reduction in the travel cost, which is feasible for most ordinary people. However, some criticizes these budget air travels, for the simply reason that, it will affect the environment in a negative way. Having gone through both arguments in detail, I appreciate the facility of cheep flights due to a number of reasons.

It is true that the emission of greenhouse gases cause environmental pollution. Similarly, when the number of turns increases, invariably the amount of pollution will be the upsurge. More importantly, as the gas emission is taking place at a higher level compared to vehicles driven on roads and the amount of damage caused may be in folds. In addition, some of these trips are redundant as people fly for no specific reason and it would have been avoided if the travel cost would be much higher. Due to these reasons low cost air travels have become more and more popular and hence it is undeniable that transport by air in cheaper means causes harm in the long run.

Nevertheless, budget air travels has enabled the ordinary people a luxurious mode of transport, which was confined to the highly privileged. For instance, this has given the opportunity a child in a family of average income who have never been on an Aero plane to get the joy of the air travel. Further aspect in favour of this type of travel would be a mass development including the rapid development in airports, hotels and motorways in the region to cater to the needs of the passengers. In addition, it would be a profitable approach for a country in approaching a better international recognition for the tourist industry in providing them with a very effective mode of transport.Therefore, its value should not be underestimated.

In conclusion, it is not only the flights but also other vehicles harm the environment in a similar way thus cheap air travel should not be blamed as the sole contributor to this hazard.

Meanwhile, the new approach has given a nation a range of benefits both locally and internationally; therefore its value is countless.

dumi 1 / 6,929 1592  
Mar 25, 2013   #2
Ithasis evident from recent records that the number of air travels hashave increased significantly over the last decade than before.

air travel has increased/ air travels have increased

One reason identified for this trend is the reduction in the travel cost, which isfeasibleaffordable tofor most ordinary people.

...."affordable" is the most appropriate word for this idea

Similarly, when the number of turns increasesincrease, invariably the amount of pollution will be the upsurge the pollution levels keep rising.

... pay attention to grammar; turn increases/ turns increase
Well.... in your introduction you favor the idea that cheap air travel is good. So you need to dedicate both paras in its favor. If you take a moderate stance then it's ok to show both sides (one para - for & other para- against).
OP mhss 18 / 53 18  
Mar 26, 2013   #3
Hi dumi,
I have brought forward the both aspects as it is stated in the question.
Any way, I admire your concern and the corrections.
Thanks.

mhss.
eileenalien 8 / 20 4  
Mar 26, 2013   #4
1. Due to these reasons low cost air travels have become more and more popular and hence it is undeniable that transport by air in cheaper means causes harm in the long run.

In this sentence, i think it's better to say "means causing harm in the long run" than "means causes in the long run"

2.Nevertheless, budget air travels has enabled the ordinary people a luxurious mode of transport, which was confined to the highly privileged.
Here I don't get what "budget air travels" means or do you mean "air-traveling budget"?
3. For instance, this has given the opportunity a child in a family of average income who have never been on an Aero plane to get the joy of the air travel.

I think this sentence is too long. It is better to cut it down. Also I think "a child from a average-income family" is better.

Your ideas is great! If you could cut some long, complex but unecessary sentncences into small pieces, your essay will be much better! :)


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