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Bulgarian citizens who lived outside their country, based on school level


Anna94 47 / 56 3  
Oct 31, 2016   #1
The chart below give information about the level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006 and 2008.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The bar chart gives information about Bulgarian residents who wanted to move from Bulgaria in 2002, 2006, and 2008 based on three types of education degree. Overall, the secondary education was the highest number of people who planned to go abroad during three years. In general, it was a downward trend. The higher education was the lowest quantity. However, primary and lower educations were an upward trend even though they did not reach a high number.

To begin with, Bulgarian people who was from higher education stood at 17 percent in 2002. In the following year, it increased gradually to 20%. Two years later, it decreased dramatically to 9 percent. The percentage of secondary education during the periods was decreased fourfold from 65 to 61. In 2008, middle education degree that planned to go overseas declined to 59 percent. Meanwhile, primary and lower educations were a slight rise from 18 to 19 percent. Next, it reached a peak at 32%. 160w




Aysha13 4 / 6  
Oct 31, 2016   #2
hey,
i read your essay, hope my corrections and suggestions will be helpful.

the first paragraph seems good to me. just one correction :
Overall, the secondary education was the highest number of people who planned to go abroad during the three years.

in the 2nd paragraph i found the last sentence to be a bit confusing:
(In 2008, middle education degree ... Meanwhile, (...) were a slight rise from 18 to 19 percent. Next, it reached a peak at 32%. 160w)

since you were talking about the year 2008, but after meanwhile, u started talked about the previous years and then came back to 2008.
Cachaaaaaaaa 28 / 38 3  
Nov 1, 2016   #3
Hi Anna
Let me correct your writing
hopefully it.s useful

anyway, you stated "....to go abroad during three years" (In fact, it starts from 2002 to 2008, it means it.s six year)

your introductions is too long, I mean introduction need only paraphrasing and overall. overall means you need to pick up the clear trend, you do not need to explain the all the level's improvement. it is much better you improve it in Body 1 and 2.

next, it is much better you arrange it in three paragraphs (add one body more)

do your best
thank you
faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Nov 1, 2016   #4
Well this is my suggestion for you, Ana.
You still describe safely. You have to remember that your job in the writing task 1 is to compare the figures, not describe separately. You mention too detail of the data that make you just describe it, not to compare or summarize it. .

I hope even though there is only a few data, and maybe it is difficult to summarize, you can found it if you look clearly.
eve01 24 / 40 5  
Nov 1, 2016   #5
hi anna i have feedback for your essay
>> it is better to write writing task 1 consists of three paragraphs ( introduction with overview, body 1 and body 2)
>> please try to avoid using the number in first paragraph such as( years 2002,2008) using paraphrase to make reader more understand about the topic)
>> please read the question more carefully before starting to write a sentence (such as summarize and compare) it means you should summarize the significant issue and summarize about the trend in the chats

... to move from Bulgaria in 2002, 2006, and 2008 based on three types of education degree over the last seven-years of decade.
... go abroad during three years (i think it was happened within seven years ).

keep writing
(^,^)


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