IELTS Writing Task 1: Bulgarians who wanted to live in another country

The chart below gives information about the level of education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006, and 2008.

The bar chart gives information about how many people wanted to go and make a brand new life at other countries in 2002, 2006, and 2008 according to their level of education. Overall, people who got junior high school degree is the highest percentage from other levels planning to leave Bulgaria

In 2002, 65 percent of secondary educational bulgarians wanted to move out from Bulgaria. In the next four years, there was a slight difference from those inhabitants which was 61 percent. In 2008, there was 59 percent of bulgarians had planning to live outside that county.

In contrast, people who graduated from elementary and senior high school remained the same percentage in 2002 and 2006. But, there was a sharp difference between primary and higher education people in 2008. People who came from primary and lower education was higher percentage than graduated inhabitants from higher education which was 32 percent and 9 percent. (154w)

• 
  Bar Chart
  

Hi Ifra.
These are my corrections for your writing. Please, review my notes.

... about how many BULGARIAN 'S people wanted to (...) new life at IN other countries ...
Overall, people who got FINISHING junior high school degree is BY FAR the highest percentage, from other levels planning to leave BulgariaN. IN ANY CASE, WHILE THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE GRADUATING THE PRIMARY AND LOWER SCHOOL EXPERIENCED AN INCREASE, OTHER FIGURES DECLINED IN THE LAST PERIOD.

(Keep in your mind that each good paragraph has at least 3 sentences so that I suggest you create 2 sentences for the overview)

In 2002, 65 percent of secondary educational bulgarians FROM THE SECONDARY EDUCATION wanted to move ...
... from those inhabitants which was AT 61 percent.
... percent of Bulgarians WHO had planning to live outside that county. COUNTRY

But HOWEVER, there was (Avoid repetition) a THE sharp difference between ...
People who came from THE primary and lower education was THE higher percentage (...) from THE higher education which was AT 32 percent and 9 percent RESPECTIVELY.

Note: Please, remember always that your job in the writing task is to compare the data, not describe separately.

Keep Writing
GOOD LUCK

Hi Annisa,
Here's my analysis towards your report summary of IELTS task 1. I hope you can follow through and gain some improvements later on.

1st paragraph:
- The bar chart gives the information about how many people wantedwho want to goleave and makelive a brand new life atin other countries in 2002, 2006, and 2008three different years according to their level of education.

- Overall, it can be seen that people who gotwere graduated from junior high school degreeishad the highest percentage fromamong other education levels. planning to leave Bulgaria(this information is redundant. it is better to remove this part.)

You need to bear in mind that each paragraph of your essay needs to have at least 3 sentences in each before it can even be considered acceptable by the examiner. The idea is to have you present a complete thought and understanding of all the aspects of the chart you were provided. By limiting yourself to only 2 sentences per paragraph, you fail to display your ability to express yourself in the English language, which is a major component of the scoring system.

Hope this helps :)