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"Bus in Hanoi" - Evaluation essay - the role of transportation.


carnation249 1 / -  
Mar 16, 2011   #1
Hi, I am a college student and I am learning how to write an evaluation essay. It is difficult for me to know well my develop process. So I hope you leave me any comment for my essay.Thanks.

Bus in Hanoi

Transportation plays an important role in our life. Hanoi and others big city have faced many transportation problems such as traffic jams, and traffic accidents... To deal with those problems, Hanoi created a new means of transportation, the bus. The bus, a public means of transportation with many terminals, seems to be an answer for traffic problem.

Hanoi bus has a convenient system, good service, inexpensive far, and it will ensure passengers are on time and at the right terminal. Hanoi bus has a step by step plan that fulfills people's need. Since Hanoi bus company buys many modern buses, opens new terminal, and keeps a reasonable fare even though outside prices are rising, especially gasoline.

The price is very cheap only 3000 to 5000vnd for one time and 50000vnd as student or 80000vnd for a month in any terminal. If you use motorbike to go to the university, you have to spend 200000 to 300000vnd per month. It is much more expensive. That is the reason why the bus will become the economic choice for everyone. In addition, the bus is quite convenient. Bus stations are in most of the city's famous places from universities, to super markets, to entertain places. As the result, the bus is not only students' major means of transport but also most other people. Moreover, the bus is almost always on time. If there is no traffic jam on its way, the bus always appears in its station at the same time every day. People should know the bus timetable well so as not be late.

However, the bus still creates a lot of headaches. There are many complaints about bus employees. They still have bad behaviors such as cussing, and some have unfriendly attitudes. Bus drivers also dirve too fast making it more expensive to fill up the bus with gasoline, and causing more accidents. When punished and asked why they drive so fast, they reply that their salary is too low and so they have to take the wrong action. This is a problem of public means. Employees having an underpaid salary leads to legal action. In addition, there are too many people taking the bus in one spot at a time which makes the bus too full. As the result, there are many thieves that take advantage and pick pocket others. Because of this risk people should be careful when riding the bus. Moreover, even though Hanoi has gotten modern buses, they still maintain the old ones. It's time to replace them in order to serve people better.

In conclusion, everything has two traits, and the bus is not an exception. We should use it to serve our transportation needs. For me, no matter how rough it is, I will still go to university by bus.

unl student 1 / 3  
Mar 16, 2011   #2
English isn't your native language is it?
That's okay! I'm here to help

One thing I'm conufused about is the terminal thing. Buses don't have terminals, subways do though. Is it a bus service? Or a subway they are building. If it's a bus service it would be a station instead of a terminal.

I tried to keep the integrity of your essay, while still correcting it to make some sense in English. Let me know if this helps!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 20, 2011   #3
Buses don't have terminals, subways do though.

Nah, buses have terminals, too! It is okay to write about the bus terminal.

You did a great job, Brandon! Thank you...

This is a good place to use a colon:
The price is very cheap: only 3000 to 5000vnd for one time and 50000vnd as student or 80000vnd for a month in any terminal.

:-)
SuYper 4 / 10  
Mar 21, 2011   #4
Personally I think this is a good essay. However you have too many simple sentences, I think you should connect these sentences and use complex ones.


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