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Business aim, beside of making money, means helping others to get a job and make their life better


ReskiRamadani88 43 / 57 5  
Nov 2, 2016   #1
The purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, business has become job of several people. It is occur because people want to develop their career and they do not become employee. For several people, they argue that business is one of job which they can make money and if they have a business, it will make them just focus in their job. But in my view, I totally disagree about this statement.

Becoming a businessman and businesswomen is the choice of people. There are advantages if people have business such as help people to get job. With the development of country, many people need job to their live and their family. Business just not about make a money or result big income but it will help other people. Opening of job fields, which help people who do not work and directly the government is helped to loss and decrease of citizens do not work. On the other hand, having business which can make people happy is the positive effect of business. Because with the improving of technology, at the present people just order and delivery their tools or material foods, clothes, or anything which make live become simple. For example other people just open their phone, search and can get anything based on what are they want.

Having a business make people can do another thing, because they do not responsibility to follow a system. Such as people who have business online. They can do everywhere and whenever they want. They just need hand phone or media electronic to promote their business like make advertisement or broadcast in social media such as shoes, bags, electronic, or anything which become need of people. So, the businessman can make other job and get additional income to develop their business and open of job field for others.

In conclusion, having a business jus not about make money but help others to get job and make their life simple and enjoy. A businessman can do another thing because they have flexible time.

abangabul93 15 / 27  
Nov 2, 2016   #2
Hello @Reski, I got some suggestions for your writing:

1. These days, (A) business has become (A) job of(FOR) several people.

2. It is occur(S) because people ...

3. ... business is one of job(S) which they can ...

4. ... them just focus in(ON) their job.

5. Becoming(Being) a businessman and(OR) businesswomen is the ...

6. Having a business make(S) people can ...

7. because they do not (HAVE A) responsibility to ...

8. In conclusion, having a business (IS) jus(T) not about make ...
nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 3, 2016   #3
Hello Reski!
Allow me to give you some suggestion :)

they argue that business is one of job which they can make money and if they have a business, it will make them just focus in their job.

singular of plural
they argue that business is one of jobs which they can make money and if they have a business, it will make them just focus in their job.

Becoming a businessman and businesswomen is the choice of people
Proper word
Being a businessman or businesswomen is the choice of people

Because with the improving of technology, at the present people just order and delivery their tools or material foods, clothes, or anything which make live become simple. For example other people just open their phone, search and can get anything based on what are they want.

It is really good to put an example but it is nor clear enough, you should put the effect and conclusion for that example. It will be a really good explanation.

Hope it helps you :)


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