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IELTS; Business letter explaining the reasons why I want to be away from work


mario_nagi 2 / 3 1  
Jun 17, 2013   #1
You are working for a company.You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this.

Write a letter to your manager.In your letter

explain why you want to take time off work
give details of the amount of time you need
suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

Dear Tom,

I'm writing to you to request some unpaid vacation next month.

My younger brother is getting married next month and he has asked me to be his wedding planner so, as the wedding planner I will have a lot to do like ordering the flowers, cakes, musician, photographers and videographers for the wedding. Writing and sending out the invitations of the weeding, also I have to help him pick his new suit from the tailor.

To be able to do all this, I would need to be away from work for five days, from Monday 17th to Friday 21st.While I am gone my work could be divided between Johnny and Julia they both are very talented and I trained them myself to withstand any crisis that may occur.

I'd be very grateful if you could allow me this time. Thanks again and see you at the weeding.
shinichi75 5 / 14 4  
Jun 17, 2013   #2
Hi,
Please check your spelling
Weeding -> wedding

I'm writing to you to request some unpaid vacation next month.

...to request for some...

Besides writing and sending out the invitations of the weedingwedding , also I have to help him pick his new suit from the tailor.

...I think this is what you mean.
OP mario_nagi 2 / 3 1  
Jun 17, 2013   #3
thank you for your rating.so,apart from these two mistakes the rest is good, right? do u think it would be rated as band 7 in ielts exam?
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jun 18, 2013   #4
Please post your IELTS essays under "Writing Feedback" forum.

Dear Tom,

.... well... in many officers subordinates call their managers by first name. But in a more official letter you address your bosses as "Dear Sir"

I'm writing to you to request some unpaid vacation next month.
My younger brother is getting married next month and he has asked me to be his wedding planner so, as the wedding planner I will have a lot to do like ordering the flowers, cakes, musician, photographers and videographers for the wedding. Writing and sending out the invitations of the weeding, also I have to help him pick his new suit from the tailor.

.... why you specifically say "unpaid"? Generally employees are allowed to exercise paid leave and they manage their committments within this entitlement. (i.e. paid leave)... So, my suggestion is not to specify what type of leave that you are going to apply as your prompt too does not specify it;

I am writing this letter to inform you that I wish to take leave from work for 7 days with effective from 18th to 25th June in order to fulfill an important family commitment.

Now tell that your brother will be getting married and your family relies you on attending to wedding arrangements since they do not have support from any other person. ... You generally don't explain every activity that you have to perform, but gives the facts that justify your reason.
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Jun 19, 2013   #5
It is not required but it is good to have at least two sentences in your
first paragraph. You may come up with something like mentioning partly
why you need to take leave and discuss it further in the second paragraph.

Don't forget to write closing remarks such as "yours sincerely" they count in IELTS exam.


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