When you practice for TOEFL writing independent task, follow healthy tips. One of which is to leave a blank line in between paras. That gives a nice tidy presentation to your essay and your examiner will like it. :) When you follow this when you practice, you would automatically do it at the exam too.
It is controversial issue to
tellagree on that
businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. -------- the word 'tell' is very frequently used in speaking, but it doesn't give much effect in writing :)
Those haveThis issue is like a
double edged sword
givewould createmore job opportunities chance
to new generations.
The first reason I disagree with entire life hiring is because of enhancing competence
----------- this sounds a bit odd. It gives the reader the impression that you disagree with keeping employees life long because it enhances competence. But you wanted to mean the other way.... So you've got to tell;
The first reason I disagree with entire life hiring is because
Through out your essay, I notice that you have very good ideas. If you pay attention to vocabulary and grammar you can certainly go for a good score :)