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Business ventures - University of Michigan Application Essay #1

laineyblack 1 / -  
Jul 24, 2022   #1

Business ventures

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. 300 words

My business ventures began when I was 8 years old. After moving to Australia and facing constant challenges of trying to fit in, I felt lost. My desire to find my passion was a constant battle.

I unzipped my backpack at school, taking out a pink EOS lip balm I brought with me from America. The lip balm seamlessly glided across my lips, filling every crack and crevice. My classmates' eyes lit up with amusement and want as they saw this foreign product.

I began importing lip balms and hand sanitizers to Australia and selling them to my school. They turned into collectibles and every month when I received my new shipment, all of the girls in my school would buy them and turn them into a competition of who had more. As my business grew, so did my passion for creativity and innovative thinking.

I continued my passion when I moved to Colorado and started my first clothing store: Sunshine Beach Boutique. I sold Australian made and designed clothing to young girls all around the country; reaching 32 states. The desire for these items continued to thrive as my business reached over $5000 in profit within the first year.

I belong to a community of entrepreneurs and innovative thinkers. My creative thinking and ability to recognize needs allow me to approach problems in a productive manner. I am truly passionate about finding problems within an environment and creating solutions to solve them.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4247  
Jul 25, 2022   #2
The writer should bring the last paragraph up and use it as an introduction that will seamlessly transition into the start of his early business ventures. It is only logical to do that since it will allow him to address the prompt requirement swiftly and relevantly. It makes for a stronger impression since it allows the reviewer to imagine how this 8 year old could successfully develop a business plan at such an early age. Try to highlight how networking was involved in your business venture since you had to import items to the country you wer elicing in each time. That way the importance of your membership in the community is further highlighted and given importance.

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