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Businesses have many essential purposes, such as profits and decreasing the unemployment


yika 6 / 12 1  
Dec 7, 2016   #1
the purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. do yo agree or disagree?

Some people argue that the main factor is focusing on profitable from the business way. Personally, I disagree with the statement because many other important purposes which can be done from the business particularly to reduce unemployment rate in the one of areas towards high economically rate and better life way

First of all, the business is the way to create the new job which comes from own ability and it needs many skills likely research to invent newest product and also management way to regulate the important things which are needed. The one of essential factors in the business which can be explained is get much profit. I think that it is one important thing which will be gotten from creating business. The profitable way always can be connected with business because we can get profit from the product which has been bought in market and it is the direct connection which can not be despired. However, its factor be the main unessential purpose but there is another way which more important than ones before, particularly the reducing of the unemployment rate.

The high rate of the unemployment rate is the most problems which must decrease in the life because it has many drawbacks for the economical sector. The business can be the most of best solutions to solve this problem because it can recruit other people to join in these businesses. For the example, the people who live in the crowded city where needs much life necessary which must be completed, so they will have many incomes from their work. However, the job in the city is very hard and sometimes the people not have the work and become unemployment. The high unemployment rate can be the serious problem in their life and also for the Government, so the solution to solve this case is making business which ca launch the new job field for other people who unemployment.

All in all, I can conclude that the businesses have many essential purposes, such as profitable ways and to decrease the unemployment rate. Also I suggest that the Government must pay attention to the business way in the society to improve inhabitant skills towards self-economic life.

Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Dec 7, 2016   #2
Hi,there are several mistakes in your summary.
1.Some people argue that the main factor (main factor from what?) is focusing on profitable from the business way. ---> vague sentence

2.likely research to invent the newest(superlative should be follow by article) product

3.The one of the essential factors in the business which ...
I think that it is one of the most important thing which ...

4.the most (superlative) of best (superlative) solutions--> improper. you can use the best solution.

5. ... in the life because it has many drawbacks for the economical sector.
... of best solutions to solvethis problem because it can recruit ...
--->you mention many drawbacks but you not explain more about it. in the next sentence, you also say about this problem which not mention in the sentence before.

Keep writing!
kurnia 4 / 5  
Dec 8, 2016   #3
Hello Yurike,
Here my advice for you

1. please you must check what 250 words look like in your own handwriting
2 you must give example from your own experience if asked
3. Use idioms and expression which image your answer
4. Use punctuation correctly

this my advice to make you has higher score:
1. Read many essay topics
2. Read many sample essays
3. Know the right structure for all essay types
4. Know when to give your opinion

thankyou


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