the purpose of businesses to make money and should concentrate on it - writing task 2
The advent of new technological encourages society to develop businesses. Some entrepreneur has many reasons to build up their business, one of them is to be wealthy. In my personal perspective, some businessman tends to their mainly purpose to earn much money and have to concentrate on it.
With regard to the business, many think most people create their own business for support peoples' needs, provide what society wants either goods or services. Many kinds of business categories such as education, fashion, food, entertainment, trade, agriculture, investation and others which is competing in each category to gain many customers.
However, from many factors for supporting entrepreneur to make business, it has only one mainly reason, that cause corporation have struggled to evolve their company. Hence the reason is to attain the much more incomes. Most entrepreneurs want to have a great quality of life which is everyone dreaming it and work hard to make it happen. That is one of the strongest reason entrepreneur pay more attention to make a fund.
Another essential thing that, almost businesses have is a strategy. It is a very crucial thing to attract enthusiast or customer. Every entrepreneur has their own strategy which is different with each business category. In this case has the same as purpose to seize every opportunity to obtain many revenue for the company.
To sum up, the majority of entrepreneur decided to build up a business has evident cause for the owner. The main cause to the businessman is to earn much money. So, the company should pay more attention to organize the business to reach their aim.
many think most people create ...
many people desire to create their own business for supporting humans' needs,
Many kinds of business categories such as education, fashion...
actually, this sentence do not has any main verb
it's better to write :
... education, fashion, food, entertainment, trade, agriculture, investation and others which is are competing in each category to gain many customers.
from many factors for that supporting entrepreneur to make business,
That is one of the strongest reasons
So , the company should pay
it could be better if you use other words like hence, therefore etc
