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Businesses social responsibilties provide values for community

vinhconnect 1 / 1  
Sep 13, 2017   #1
As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

growing company means more value for the community

Entrepreneur activities as a vital part in the social development. Although emparking on market share to build up company is commitment of managers, it also is significant to mention about social responsibilities as one of requirements of business. In this case, I totally agree with this pointview.

Organisation should pay more attention to business development with the contribution of economy. Firstly, the growth of a firm can attract more talents to work for their system. If a company indicates best practices of their vision to recruit people, recruitment team of that company will have a chance to overcome unemployment of human resource of a region. There are some factories that are set up to places as a good direction to create more jobs for local people. Secondly, government have considered business expansion such a source to pay taxes for them investing others section. This kind of budget is a tool of government. With the development of country, enterprise tax can help the government to grow education system, strenghthen their policies or expanding highway.

Enterprise blends into social responsibilites with the power to create change. By corporate sociable responsible activities, companies speak out their voice when raising awareness about environment protection. Local people consider this action as a characteristic of a good brand. It can attract customer by their commitment to environment of place. In addition, other activities such as donating for charity can make a huge impact on social innovation. It is required in investment funds as a condition to be invested. Many companies are doing these works effectively. By rebuilding house, creating education program or planning trees, companies play an integral part of social expansion.

In conclusion, social responsibilties is authentic method of companies when creating values for community. These activities can make a strong brand in customer mindset and make them believe in organisation in the future.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,607 2504  
Sep 13, 2017   #2
Vinhu, your essay is tremendously confusing to read. There is no clear paraphrasing of the prompt topic, your discussion representation is for the wrong essay, and the coherence and cohesiveness of your discussion per paragraph is just all over the place. This is not an essay that will allow me to have any confidence of your writing skills in the actual test.

For starters, this is not an "emotional" essay because there is no "extent" question with regards to your agreement or disagreement. A simple representation of "agree" or "disagree" would have sufficed. In addition to that, the earlier sentences were supposed to represent your understanding of the prompt requirement and your ability to be able to explain it to the examiner in your own words. I could not wrap my head around what you were trying to say in that opening paraphrase. The confusion in that presentation makes me worry about the tremendously low score that the paragraph can earn for you in terms of task accuracy considerations. That opening statement alone is enough to pass or fail you in this test. Here is how you should have clearly presented the essay paraphrase:

Businesses acknowledge that their enterprises need to make money. Additionally, business owners also recognize that they have a social responsibility tied into the success of their business in a community. I agree with this point of view for several reasons, which will be presented in this essay.

Learn to focus your discussion per paragraph on only one topic. In your classes, I am sure that your tutor has told you the importance of presenting only one reason that you can accurately explain to the examiner in the essay. He is not interested in many reasons, just one. Mostly because that one discussion, explained in a total of 5 sentences will help him consider how well you can express yourself in written English. Imagine doing that 5 times in the essay and you will understand why the examiner needs to read about only one reason and one explanation for that reason per paragraph.

A concluding statement must strongly summarize the previously presented discussions in at least 3 sentences. That is because you are being given a chance to show that you fully understood what the prompt topic is about, the reasons why you feel your reasoning is correct, and that your line of reasoning is the best position to take regarding the topic.
OP vinhconnect 1 / 1  
Sep 14, 2017   #3
Oh, thank you, I will consider

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