Money has always been an interesting incentive for everyone. Its tempting power is seductive enough to trample over everything. In spite of this indisputable fact about money, it is really unfair to say that the only motivation for businessmen is the thirst for more money. I firmly believe that there are much more important motivations for a person who is doing his best in his job. Following paragraphs will illustrate my vantage point.
The first and most important thing that comes to mind about what motivates a businessman is that when a person chooses a job for the rest of his life, the most logical feature he may seek is the calm and peace there. He searches for a career that is his real interest. This intimacy can be a great and convincing reason to continue the job. Even a billion dollar wealth cannot bring comfort for one who is not interested in what he is doing. Internal satisfaction supports the most powerful and positive motivation most businessmen can have. Take Michael Dell, the founder of Dell, for instance, I remember once he said that the joy of designing the new and novel technologies is much more pleasant for him than all the profits their company earns.
Another equally noteworthy point bears into mind is that prestige is as much tempting as money. In a psychological point of view, another major factor that people usually consider when they want to choose a job is whether it brings them social respect and admiration or not. It seems that working as a businessman gives the man another face which elevates his social position through which he gains the respect of others. Some young people see the businessmen as their role models. Being a role model can be a wish for everyone.
Finally yet importantly, the productivity is of a great feeling that a person can realize. The more a person thinks of himself productive the more he is being proud of himself. Doing what brings a result to the country for the people you live with and love is sth that not other things can bring.
In a word, taking into account all aforementioned points one can logically draw the conclusion that what the businessmen goes for is not always desire for more and more money. It can be internal satisfaction, social respect and productivity. However, it was a story in a not shell and there are more complicated reasons and motivations that should be considered to find out what keeps a man to continue in business.
Hi, Houram!
I made some corrections, hope they help.
Another equally noteworthy point bearsborn into mind is
The more a person thinks ofregards himself as productive the more he is being proud of himself.
Doing what brings a resultcontributing to the country for the people you live with and love is sth that not other things can bring is irreplacable .
In a word, taking into account all aforementioned points one can logically draw the conclusion that what the businessmen goes for is not always desire for more and more money.
- the most logical feature he may seek is the calm and peace therepeacefulness of the environment .
- He searches for a career that is in his real interest.
- However, it was a story in a notnut shell...
Well, there you have it Houram, a few remarks from my end.
There some points I also want to suggest, proof read your essay all the time as I read a couple of typo error, this is minor but it can mean a lot to the readers, the words you choose is great it really makes the reader understand all there is that you want to send across, finally, you did a good job in coming up with a composed essay.
Good points to keep up the good job;
- being objective at all time
- keeping a clear and composed thoughts on how the essay should flow
- being able to leave something that readers can ponder
Keep writing
Cheers!!!
Hi Houram!
Great Essay! I liked the reasons you provided )) Here are some friendly comments:
It seems that you're trying to use complicated synonyms, so it confuses and makes your wonderful essay boring and difficult to read.
interesting incentive = great motivation
tempting power = attractive power
thirst for more money = chasing money
You should rewrite your opinion in last sentence of introduction. Smthg like that: "In my opinion, there are many other reasons which drive people to success in their careers. Interest in work, prestige and self-fulfillment are some of those. In the following paragraphs I will illustrate reasons and provide examples to support my opinion."
Regarding first paragraph. I think words "calm and piece" are not something that associates with your reason "interest". It's more about love, curiosity and passion. For example, I can spend 12 hours per day, 6 days per week in front of my monitors doing job that I love, and never feel bored.
The rest content is pretty good.
Good Luck!
[one more useless comment = suspension] . The first and foremost important thing
In overall, it is perfect essay except some typo errors. So, it'd be helpful to check your writing once in a while. Proficient vocabulary and management, but there's some errors.
The more a person thinks of himself productive, the more he is being proud of himself.
In a word, Taking into a account all aforementioned points, one can logically draw the conclusion that what the businessmen goes for is not always desire for more and more money.
