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Will You Buy a House or Start a Business?


adalumi 5 / 13  
Apr 27, 2009   #1
hi again,

another essay here...i wrote this one few times before i post it here. i.m not sure if i argued enough in favor of my thesis.

thank you everybody for helping me!

[/b]You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choice. [b]

Having money to buy a house or to start a business is a big advantage for each one of us. If I were in the position to make this choice, I will certainly start a business. Why? Because my dream is to be my own boss and in the same time financially independent. Buying a house for yourself is a dead investment but starting a profitable business can give you the opportunity to buy maybe a better house and to improve your life standards.

A business can be a risky investment but buying a house can be a dead end one. I always liked to take the risk and be responsible for my choices. A big advantage that a business can give me is that I am totally responsible for its destiny. I like to be my own boss and to be in charge for something that is totally mine. Maybe I do not have the perfect skills to be a business woman but I can ask for different opinions and I can make some researches so in the end my job is to adopt the best way to improve and promote my business. The profit is directly connected with the way that business is managed and this will put me in charge about my financial situation.

Buying a house is not going to give you the opportunity to grow your earning to much. Maybe after the purchase the money is not going to be enough for renovations and furniture and other needs. Of course, the value of the house can grow in time, but even like that, how can you increase your earning? Also I have to consider that a house need maintenance which is another investment that maybe I am not going to be able to afford.

To have a superior earning is a need for me and only a profitable business can give me the financial security that I need. My dream house is a big, elegant one and the only way to afford it is to start and grow a profitable business

SairaTasartir 5 / 37  
Apr 27, 2009   #2
Having money to buy a house or to start a business is a big advantage for each one of us.

Sounded a little awkward-- maybe you could try something like "Having enough money to buy a house or start a business would be a big advantage to anyone."

However, you might try something a little more hooking. Like, "What would you do with enough money to buy a house or start a business?" and then end up with a thesis stating what *you* would do.

and in the same time financially independent.

,and at the same time be financially independent.

to improve your life standards.

-- to improve your standard of life.

I always liked to take the risk and be responsible for my choices.

"Always liked" is an awkward tense. Try this: "I always like" or "I believe in taking...and being."

I like to be my own boss

You said that already in the first paragraph. To avoid being redundant, try to change the phrase. ("I like to set my own goals", etc)

and I can make some researches

"I can research what needs to be done,"

put me in charge about my financial situation.

in charge of my financial...

to grow your earning to much.

to increase your resources significantly.

Maybe after the purchase the money is not going to be enough for renovations and furniture and other needs. Of course, the value of the house can grow in time, but even like that, how can you increase your earning? Also I have to consider that a house need maintenance which is another investment that maybe I am not going to be able to afford.

Maybe after purchasing a house, there would not be enough money for renovations or furniture. Even though the value of a house increases over time, this will not increase your assets. Also, houses require maintenance: another investment that I may not be able to afford.

To have a large income is a need, and only a profitable business can give me financial security. My dream house is a big, elegant one, and the only way to afford it is to start and grow a profitable business.
OP adalumi 5 / 13  
Apr 27, 2009   #3
ty saira...your suggestions and corrections are very good and nice.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Apr 27, 2009   #4
... to be my own boss and at the same time to be financially ...

Hey, buying a house for yourself is not necessarily a dead investment! Some people buy houses and fix them up to improve their value, and that IS the business! It is a cool business, too. If I was good at home improvement, I would do it.

You did argue! You argued quite well. It will be stronger if you mention that a house may decrease in value instead of increasing, but that your business can be adapted to acclimate to changing times.

:)
OP adalumi 5 / 13  
Apr 28, 2009   #5
thank you kevin!

my idea was to buy a house for yourself...to live in...kind of a family house; not to sell it and move and so on. can be a business too but then i need to argue in this direction...and you said i did, right?:))

hope i didn't understand wrong.

thank you once again
alterego2 - / 1  
Apr 29, 2009   #6
Today I read a survey about what people had found to be the best investment for themselves (in Holland). 50% said that it was in their own house and about 25% named their education. Only 4% had found that their own business had turned out to be profitable, Ada!
SairaTasartir 5 / 37  
May 5, 2009   #7
Surveys!! Ugh. Your principle is still good. Just because more people may think a house is their best investment, doesn't mean it is! Your arguments are valid and strong-- and unless you bring it up-- no one reading your essay will know about that survey, and you'll have a good chance of convincing them. ;}
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
May 5, 2009   #8
but then i need to argue in this direction...and you said i did, right?:))

Yes, I just mentioned it because it came to my mind! Pay no attention to me! :)
Londyn64 1 / 1  
May 16, 2009   #9
I think if you take advantage of most of the suggestions and changes offered, your essay will be just fine. Not everyone would choose to start a business over buying a house if they had the money to do either, but I am sure a large percentage of people would. Therefore you are a part of that percentage, so I gather this is a Persuasive essay, and you are on the right track. If you have money like that and have never owned a home, buying a house may be more attractive, yet if you stay where you are, start a business and set a goal that once you make a profit and you meet whatever goals you set regarding the business, I am sure a house will be next on the list.

Sone


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