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Ielts writing task 2: buying products from other countries.

forielts 4 / 8  
Dec 7, 2018   #1

buying imported products

in some countries, it is now possible for people to buy products made in other countries. to what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problem?

People these days are able to buy goods made by other countries. From a personal view, I believe this is a positive trend in a large extent, although it may cause adverse impacts as well.

Having access to other countries' products enables people to lead a happy life because it can improve their living standers. Due to the geometric limitations, some products are not able to grow in other countries, such as cherries, which are native to North America but can hardly grow in Thailand. If people can taste things from another side of the world, they are likely to enjoy more in their life. In addition, some products are also cheaper to buy from other nations than from the local. It will decline people's living cost and save money to tackle other urgent problems.

Another benefit of this progress is that it can contribute to culture communication between countries. Products from other areas, especially those containing certain local features, can usually convey traditional culture. For example, if people from Europe purchase china, they are likely willing to know more about Chinese culture. In this way, the misunderstanding between two different culture will reduce.

Despite the advantages mentioned above, purchasing other countries' products will have a negative influence on local companies' development. As people tend to buy things which are not made by the local companies, native companies can hardly make profits from the customers. As a result, these companies may not survive the intense competition brought by foreigner products.

In conclusion, it cannot be prevented from people buying imported products. I believe it is a good trend as it contributes to people's life quality as well as culture communication.

(280 words) Thanks for your advice ;)
Supantha 3 / 7  
Dec 8, 2018   #2
Nicely illustrated but I'm here for only two corrections :
1. You made 5 paragraphs to bulid your essay but i think 4 paragraphs will be the classic and best to give a legitimate look. One is for introduction. One is for discussing the merits. Thr next one is for demerits and last one is for conclusion

2. Few word corrections
... people from Europe purchase china: Chinese products ( from china)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,230 3651  
Dec 8, 2018   #3
Nicoel, you should aim for clear and concise writing at all times. Do not try to meet the word count by using more words, that will not help increase your scores. Instead, discuss your paragraphs using clear words that show an advanced grasp of the English language. Rather than saying "are now able to", go for the short but clear alternative "can now buy goods..." The increase in your score does not come from a high word usage, it comes from how well you are able to express yourself clearly in English using the proper words.

Now, you created a prompt deviation in your discussion. Remember, the question being asked is:

... to what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problem?

Therefore, the response to the question is:

The advantages presented by this shopping situation far outweighs the possible negative effects.

There is no need for an apostrophe after the word "countries", you are merely presenting the plural form of country, you are not making an ownership statement which is when the apostrophe is often used. You have also misrepresented a word in that you referred to "standers" when you meant to say "Standards." Please develop your English vocabulary so that you will not make mistakes in word usage and references in the future. These will have a direct deductible effect on your LR score. Also, "geometric" is a term related to geometry measurements. Your term should have been "geological" which means land location. There are several other word usage errors in this essay that create confusion and stress when reading your essay. This will result in a lower GRA score.

Now, it is not my duty to explain each and every word mistake in your essay so let me just say this, always refer to a dictionary when writing your practice test to make sure you are using the correct word for the sentiment you wish to convey. If possible, make the English dictionary your bible, your bedtime reading. That is the best way to familiarize yourself with English words and its meanings. Read it from cover to cover until you have the words and meanings memorized by heart.

I cannot continue to review your essay at this point because of the problems with your word usage. I strongly suggest that you do better with word usage in your next practice test. Do not try to use words you are unsure of, just use words you are sure means what you want to say. Otherwise, you risk failing due to C&C, LR, and GRA problems.

Let me close on this note instead. You are allowed a maximum of 5 paragraphs for any given Task 2 discussions. If you feel that you can cover 5 paragraphs for a given discussion then that is alright. It will even increase your scoring considerations overall because you get to show your English writing skills to a greater extent. While this could have been done in 4 paragraphs, 5 is not a problem in terms of presentation. That choice, regarding the paragraph count is left to the discretion of the writer. As long as you write a minimum of 2 reasoning paragraphs, your reasoning considerations will be fine and acceptable to the examiner.
vietduccan 10 / 19 7  
Dec 15, 2018   #4
Hi, I think the main problem is the way you write the thesis statement. The question is "to what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the problem?" but instead of saying "how much" the benefits outweigh the problems, you state that this is a positive trend. This would make you lose score in TA because you do not precisely satisfy all the requirements of the topic.

Another point to consider is that the grammar structure you used. In GR Criteria, using a variety of complex sentences is essential. What I can see from your essay is that you used a lot of complex structures, but most of them are too complicated. You just need to write a clear and simple complex setence, which combines two or three clauses. By having more than four clauses in a single sentence, you could easily make mistakes.

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