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CAE Essay Part 1: Methods schools and universities use to help students find suitable jobs

Hanh Ngoc 1 / -  
Aug 21, 2017   #1

Wise choice of a job after study

Having a job right after graduation is one of the most significant achievements of every school leavers. However, it is not easy to seek for a job which meets their personal interests and needs, so policymakers have introduced methods to tackle such problem, assisting students to enjoy their jobs in a foreseeable future.

On one side, introducing some mature-related courses is considered as a possible approach to help teenagers grasp the basics. These short-term courses will be taken by the experienced people. Then after the classes, youngsters will have a clear goal of the workforce and also receive a certificate to prove that they have fully accomplished. However, the length of the course might be short as cost should be kept at their minimum, thus students find it difficult to decide whether they like their future jobs or not.

Another side is that being consulted before finishing education system is absolutely necessary for the graduates. To some extent, the adolescence finds it is hard to open their heart to strangers so asking for advice from people who they know well is more favorable. For example, students may ask their families or even the teachers to have a clear view about future jobs. Nevertheless, these people may not have enough experience to consult or give the suitable advice for teenagers, thus, this leads to time-consuming and ineffective.

In conclusion, although the method of career advice sounds good, the headmasters had better conduct more practical courses and qualifications to let students be well-equipped before facing the difficulty in finding their ideal jobs.

ngangiang 2 / 2 1  
Aug 21, 2017   #2
Your essay has no mistake about grammar. I love it ❤
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Aug 21, 2017   #3
Hanh, since this CAE test comes with a suggested discussion introduction, it would be best for you to present the complete discussion suggestion with your next essay. That way I can better assist you when it comes to creating your topic presentation and enhanced talking points within the written essay. As far as this essay is concerned, it would have been better if you had managed to pose a question at the start of the first paragraph which could have been used to offer your own prompt requirement for response in the essay.

You have to work on developing your English vocabulary for use in this type of writing. While you did maintain an academic tone throughout, your essay has too many grammar problems for your presentation to be considered at a level higher than that of an intermediate user. In order to pass this test, you need to have a stronger vocabulary, more cohesive presentations, and an interesting topic for discussion.

The work you created is a bit dry and not really interesting to read. The discussion points need to be more fluid, interconnected, and relevant to the reader. There is more room for development in your work. However, without the original presentation, I cannot show you how to do that. I promise to help you improve in that aspect starting with your next practice essay. That is, provided that you supply the complete information for the creation of the essay.
minhphuccttv 4 / 11  
Aug 22, 2017   #4
Hello Hanh,

I think your idea is good but it's not enough, I have one more idea that students should do part-time jobs during four years in university because it help them to know which job they really like.So universities should create more part-time jobs for them.

I hope it can help you.

Minh Phuc

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