Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
No doubt that everyone hates criminals. Thanks to our modern society, most of them are in prison biting bitter caused by themselves. However, there still an argument about how to fix the punishment, simply judge by the type of crime or consider the motivation and the true reason behind? Emotionally, I'm more trend the latter point of view and reasons listed as below.
As not hard to find in history, varies of criminals were appear during wars and the fact is not coming without a reason. By lacking of food, many thieves appear as well as hungry prostitute and envy poor. It will be inconvenient if we really blame them committed crime. Admittedly, it should be punished for crime, but under certain circumstance civilized regulation can't beat human nature fighting for survive. Moreover, even in modern society, truth always hidden in fact. Take school teenagers as example, although hardly to claim it as crime, but bully and abuse are usually the real reason causes fight or hurt. Lastly, we have to admit laws and regulation not always right. As a certain rules of people's behavior, laws and regulations usually need to be revise and develop all the time. If we simply fix crimes according the first edition of laws and ignore the changing motivation will not convinced by judges or general public.
In conclusion, even criminals are hateful, but the motivation for committing it still cannot be ignore. Not only it could help judges fix punishment more convincible, but also the motivation could be educational to the society and avoid it as much as we can.
Hi,
Your intro follows a good structure;
However, there still an argument about how to fix the punishment ; simply judge by the type of crime or consider the motivation and the true reason behind.
.... I did changes in punctuation
Emotionally, I'm more trendtowards the latter point of view and reasons listed as below.
---- this has some grammar issues :(
As not hard to find in history, varies of criminalswere appeared during wars and the fact is not coming without a reason.
criminals were appearing/ criminals appeared
You need to have at least one extra body para : )
Sure dear : )
When I give comments on IELTS or TOEFL independent tasks, I follow the most popular 4 para essay structure because I myself has been successful in securing a great score by following it :)
It is;
1. Introduction - Introduce your topic (briefly) and state your opinion clearly.
2. Body para 1 : First reason for your opinion + One specific example to support this reason
3. Body para 2 : Second reason+ example
4. Conclusion : Sum up everything said above and re-instate your opinion.
Now check your essay with the above structure.... I can see that your 2nd Body para is missing. You need to come up with another reason as to say why you think it is important to consider the background of the crime. Then give an example for that. Read the essays written on similar topics for you to gain an idea about this structure... There are plenty you can find here on EF : )
Hope this helps.
