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IELTS - CAM 5; three different countries population compare


Traveler 6 / 14 2  
Sep 15, 2013   #1
The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (Cambridge ielts 5, page 29)


This is my answer

The line graph provides information about the percentage of people with an age of 65 years or more in the USA, Japan and Sweden, from 1940 to 2040. Overall, it reveals that the proportion of elderly people will increase, particularly in Japan, by the year 2040.

In 1940, aged people in Japan and Sweden were around 5% and 7% of the population respectively. On the other hand, the figure for the USA was higher, at about 9% of the population. From 1940 to 1990, the percentage of elderly people, both in the USA and Sweden, went up gradually to approximately 15% and 13% respectively. By contrast, the figure for Japan decreased to almost 3% during the same period.

By 2040, the proportion of people aged 65 and over is expected to rise further in the USA and Sweden, and reach 23% and 25% respectively. Moreover, the figure for Japan is estimated to increase sharply between 2030 and 2040, and reach 27% by the end of the period.

Any comments are appreciated. Thanks




MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Sep 16, 2013   #2
with an age of 65 years or more

aged 65 or older

aged people

I think "elderly people" or "aging population" sounds better.
You write very well!
OP Traveler 6 / 14 2  
Sep 16, 2013   #3
MisterWandering
Thanks for the reply, I used "aged people" to avoid repeating elderly people one more time! I'm not a native speaker, so I don't know if it sounds awkward. Will "older people" be more appropriate?

Another thing, is the punctuation ok?
fahadbd 25 / 56 5  
Sep 16, 2013   #4
The line graph provides information about the percentage of people with an age of 65 years or more in the USA, Japan and Sweden, from 1940 to 2040

your definition of statement above is well but remember if you want to achieve a good score you've to use an attractive structure in first sentence. you should never have made any mistake in the first of you sentence. Try to avoid confusing sentence you've used "with an age of 65 years"

here look at a bit The graph shows changes in the percentage of a group of people aged 65 or more in three different countries ;Japan Sweden and the USA, over a period of 100 years


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