Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

Cambridge English IELTS 9, Test 1; island/ tourist facilities


Robotintheworld 2 / 3  
Apr 2, 2014   #1
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

My answer:
The two given maps tell us the information on an island, before and after the construction of many / some / a lot of / a few / lots of travelling / tourist facilities / equipment. As is shown / presented in these maps, a significant / dramatic change happened / occurred in the island.

According to first one, just a few trees stood on the island at the beginning of the construction which the quantity of trees in the west was less than the eastern one. Not far from the western woods, a beach stretched to sea from coast. Except for these, there was nothing at all.

But swimming was allowed around the beach and two parts of accommodation were found which were near the two sections of trees after the construction, and some footpaths were convenient for tourists to get to different rooms. Meanwhile, a restaurant was built for travelers. And you would went along the vehicle track around the reception after you launch on the pier from boats.

In summary, The island changed significantly after the construction of some tourist equipment which make the life easier and comfortable for travelers when they spend their vacations here.


  • maps presented in thsi pic
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Apr 2, 2014   #2
The two given maps tell us the information on an island, before and after the construction of many / some / a lot of / a few / lots of travelling / tourist facilities / equipment.

The two given maps illustrates the changes of an island after the development of tourism.

As is shown / presented in these maps, a significant / dramatic change happened / occurred in the island.

This sentence could be separated to form an overview paragraph.

According to first one, just a few trees stood on the island at the beginning of the construction which the quantity of trees in the west was less than the eastern one. Not far from the western woods, a beach stretched to sea from coast. Except for these, there was nothing at all .

Before the construction, there were only some trees and a beach on the west of the island.

But swimming was allowed around the beach

Tourists were able to swim at the beach

two parts of accommodation were found which were near the two sections of trees

Many huts were built at the center of the island near the two rows of trees.

and some footpaths were convenient for tourists to get to different rooms

You could use relative clause to merge this idea with your previous one:Many huts were built at the center of the island near the two rows of trees, which were connected by footpaths.

And you would went along the vehicle track around the reception after you launch on the pier from boats.

Don't use "you" in your academic writing.
The island was made more accessible with the construction of a pier where boats could launch. It was linked with the reception and the restaurant by a short road.

I hope this helps!
OP Robotintheworld 2 / 3  
Apr 4, 2014   #3
The two given maps illustrates the changes of an island after the development of tourism.

Not illustrates, plural form illustrate.
OP Robotintheworld 2 / 3  
Apr 4, 2014   #4
These two given maps illustrate the information on an island, before and after the development of many travelling equipment.

As is presented in these maps, a significant change occurred on the island after the renovation of infrastructure for tourism. Meanwhile, it is really convenient for tourists to enjoy holiday.

Initially, it was almost a virgin island where just two areas of trees and a beach were on it, also swimming was not allowed around the beach. After the construction, many new tourists' facilities have been made including accommodation facilities, restaurant, reception center, pier for boating. Interestingly plants and trees were not cut to build these constructions and most of the constructions were made near the beach. The footpaths were made to walk among the residing places and to the beach while the motor tracks were created to visit among the restaurant, reception area, and pier for bating.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Apr 15, 2014   #5
I like the notes eddies have provided you :)

The two given maps tell us the information on an island, before and after the construction of many / some / a lot of / a few / lots of travelling / tourist facilities / equipment. As is shown / presented in these maps, a significant / dramatic change happened / occurred in the island.

You need to follow dumi's suggestion seriously. Your intro should briefly introduce the graphical presentation. Since this task is aimed at assessing your report writing skills, you need to adopt a tone which is more appropriate for report writing. You cannot have every details in the intro. The body paras are the places for details.


Home / Writing Feedback / Cambridge English IELTS 9, Test 1; island/ tourist facilities