Practicing for Cambridge FCE
Task: Is learning to speak a foreign language as important these days as it was in the past?
Write an essay giving your opinion.
It is widely believed that improving skills in a new language is more important nowadays then it was previously. The advent of the internet, the increase in the demand of international trips and the necessity of other languages to work explain it.
Firstly, different languages are resquested when you are browsing online.
Furthermore, whether you want to research something online, you need to master more than one language since you will find lots of websites from other countries with essential pieces of information.
Secondly, it is recommended to know at least English when you are going to travel so you can communicate with people around the world. Notwithstanding, nowadays it is possible to use some cellphone apps to translate words you do not know, which was impossible in the past.
Finally, looking for a job in a multinational company demmands you more than one language given that you have to talk with employees in other countries. What is more, the company provides training which are in different languages and you have to take part.
Summarizing, from a personal perspective, it is evident that mastering different languages is currently more important than in the past.
Here are some corrections,
skills in a new language are more
nowadays than it was previously
And also it is not a good practice to have a paragraph with one sentence. you can combine two last paragraphs.
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Andre, you have a good start to the opening statement. It is interesting and hooks the reader in. However, the end of the paragraph needs another sentence as this type of essay writing requires evidence of your personal opinion at the very start of the essay. At the end of the opening statement, you should have signified what your opinion is on the topic presented in order to create a smooth introduction for your upcoming paragraph discussions.
Do not cut your paragraph presentations into lines. Present these sentences as interconnected discussions composed of a topic sentence, one justification sentence, and example sentence. That will be considered a complete explanation and paragraph by the examiner. In your second paragraph, you have two unrelated presentations. So those should have been presented in separate paragraphs with their own supporting discussions.
You have a solid conclusion presented here. The whole essay has some problem points but since this is your first attempt at writing the new FCE test essay, I would have to say that you have the potential for improvement and growth over time. Keep practicing. It will pay off for you in the future.