IELTS Task 1 Cambridge 8 The Reasons and Destinations of Visit Abroad

The tables give information about a cross-section survey with 100,000 respondents were being asked about the reason why they traveled abroad and the destination which they visited by main region in 1994 to 1998. Overall, the highest number of the visitors was in 1998 and most of them went to Western Europe for holiday.

Looking at the details, in 1998 the number of the people who traveled was the highest, at 28,828 while in 1995 had the least number of visitors, at 21610. The biggest reason was for holiday in each year while other reasons had the smallest number every year. The second biggest reason was for business. Visiting friends and relatives had lower number of people than business but had higher number than other reasons in each year.

The most popular destination was in Western Europe while in North America was the least famous destination for every year. Other areas had lower number of visitors than in Western Europe but it had higher number of visitors than in North America.

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Hello farida... your writing is good
here is little correction for you.

in 1994 to 1998 ; in 1994 to in 1998

the least number of visitors, at 21610 21,610

in detail, i hope you can include more data (numbers)

Farida, you need to complete the way that you present the information in the overview / introduction of your essay. You accidentally created only two sentences in what was otherwise a very strong start to your essay. Your mistake was compressing the information into the two sentences you presented. Format your opening statement into at least three sentences this way:

- The tables give... (1st sentence)
- It is measured in the number of visitors... (2nd sentence
- Overall, it can be seen that, the highest... (3rd sentence)

The second body of your essay also has the same problem. If you don't serve up the information from the chart in the proper way within the essay, you will badly damage your final grade in the essay. I suggest that you approach the first body in the following manner:

-The most popular... (1st sentence)
- Other areas... (2nd sentence)
- In addition,... (3rd sentence)

Please bear in mind that each paragraph of your essay needs to have at least 3 sentences in each before it can even be considered acceptable by the examiner. The idea is to have you present a complete thought and understanding of all the aspects of the chart you were provided. By limiting yourself to only 2 sentences per paragraph, you fail to display your ability to express yourself in the English language, which is a major component of the scoring system. Good luck for the next practice Farida :)