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IELTS Cambridge 13 Writing Task 1 Test 1 - Compare the Maps of City Hospital


haonguyenx 1 / 1  
May 14, 2021   #1
Please help me, I just look at some tips about task 1 and I really dont know assess my essay. I think on task 1 we dont need the conclusion, do we?

Two maps demonstrate the direction to get to a city hospital of two different years (2007 and 2010).



Overall, after three years, the path to get to the city hospital was upgraded with roundabouts. Besides, the features servicing for travel were improved, including a bus station and distinct car parks. According to both maps, the hospital was surrounded by ring road and people can access this by bus and car. On the west of hospital road, there was a bus station built in 2010 rather than a bus stop in 2007. To the opposite with the bus station, the car park for both staff and public in 2007 was only used for staff in 2010 and the new car park for use of public was built on the east of ring road.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,914 3562  
May 15, 2021   #2
You are right. Task 1 is a data reporting essay so it does not need a conclusion. However, it needs a trending statement as proof of thorough information analysis. The format requires a 3 paragraph presentation of 150-190 words. Writing any less than 150 words will result in task accuracy deductions based on wordcount requirements. Your presentation does not meet the minimal scoring requirements for a baseline passing score. That is highly unformulate becauseyou have the potential to score well in this task. I would like you write another essay that meets the minimal scoring requirements based on formatting rules. Then I can review the essay based on the major scoring requirements.
OP haonguyenx 1 / 1  
May 16, 2021   #3
Thank you so much, I post new essay in this reply, with 172 words. I hope you can assess my essay.

Two maps demonstrate the direction to get to a city hospital of two different years (2007 and 2010).

Overall, after three years, the path to get to the city hospital was upgraded with roundabouts. Besides, the features servicing for travel were improved, including a bus station and separate car parks. All improvements above made the traffic more modern and convenient.

According to both maps, the hospital was surrounded by ring road and people can access this by bus and car. On the west of hospital road, there was a bus station built in 2010 rather than a bus stop in 2007. To the opposite with the bus station, the car park for both staff and public in 2007 was only used for staff in 2010 and the new car park for use of public was built on the east of ring road. The hospital road was developed with two roundabouts in 2010, sited in the head and the end of the road, to connecting with the city road and the ring road.


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