Cambridge,Test 3 - the figures of four destinations of the graduates and postgraduates in England

Please give review on my first attempt, thank you!!:

Destination of UK students

The bar charts display the figures of four destinations of the graduates and postgraduates in England, besides of employed with a full-time job in 2008.

Overall, the proportions of those destinations include voluntary works, further study and unemployment are similar among the two types of students, except for part-time work.

As can be seen from the charts, the number of graduates and postgraduates who purchased higher education is both the highest which reached around 95%, the figure of which is 29,665 and 2,725, respectively. Clearly, among the four types of destinations, being a volunteer was the least popular among the students in 2008. Accounting for 3500 graduates and 345 postgraduates, both are less than 20% of students.

The second similarity shows in unemployment, both figures in 2 types of students are almost a double down compared to the further study. Meanwhile, there were 17,735 graduates engaged in a part-time job, the number is slightly higher than those who were unemployed. In contrast, the number of postgraduates engaged in a part-time job is apparently higher which is 2535, amounting to five sixths of its students.

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The summary overview must always include the number of images provided and how the information is divided within the images. In this case, there are 2 charts presented, each with half the information for the report. So the images must be divided into 2, with the divisions for each made clear to the reader. As for the trending statement, the similarity needs to indicate if this is an upward or downward similarity for the information you are presenting. The lack of these representatiions make this summary overview a bit faulty in terms of task accuracy. The rest of the report, though a bit grammatically incorrect, still conveys the correct reporting information. So the rest of the task should bring in a decent score for you. This might be a passing essay, but not a very high scoring one.