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CAMBRIDGE TOPIC; The widespread use of the Internet


muge 5 / 12  
Jul 22, 2011   #1
Hi everyone, please comment on my piece of writing.:)

The widespread use of the Internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world?

From my point of view the widespread use of the internet has had a tremendous impact on people's lives. Without a doubt, this innovation brings us wide range of knowledge which is very essential for our lives. Thanks to the internet we have an opportunity to reach every sort of information in a very short time, so new generations will be more developed and skilled.

First of all; internet has so many contributions for the students' educational developments. Beginning from primary school to the university all students have an access to all kind of information from science to math to languages. For instance, i started using internet more often at university for my researches to improve myself, so i benefited from internet and i still continue to use it.

In addition; people have a chance to facilitate their works by using internet such as, we can arrange our vacation more easy by using internet. We can make hotel reservations, buy our tickets, get information about the place where we go. For instance; i had no idea about Amalfi Coast in ─░taly before two weeks ago but i heard it from tv and decided to visit that city, so I google it get any kind of information about the place and make my resevations as well.

Last but not least; internet provide people to communicate in several ways and make their connections stronger. Skype, messenger and some friendship sites not only provide people to make new friends but also supply them to meet with their old friends from other countries even from other continents. For instance; i studied abroad and i get so many friends when i was in that country for two years ago. Now i still keep my relationships by mailing and calling, so i go to visit them and they come to visit me.

In conclusion; of course there are some disadvantages of the internet, but the reasons i have mentioned above are very essential for our lives and everybody benefits from these opportunieties. In fact; i feel myself very lucky owing to the fact that i have lived in that internet and information age.

Please correct my essay in terms of grammar, vocabulary, cohesion, and task fulfillment. As always every help is appreciated!

fairwind 2 / 5  
Jul 22, 2011   #2
a wide range of knowledge

people have a chance to facilitate their works by using internet such as, we can arranging our vacation more easyeasierby using internet.

We can make hotel reservations, buy our tickets,and get information about the place where we go.

soBy using internet, I can google it and get any kind of information about the place and make my resevations as well.

internet provides people

other countries and even from other continents
elwinOUTOFMIND 1 / 1  
Jul 23, 2011   #3
so I google(googled ) it to get any kind(some kinds ) of information about the place and make my resevations(reservations ) as well.
hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Jul 23, 2011   #4
in the introduction paragraph, you should include some detail of the topci instead of just asking a question
OP muge 5 / 12  
Jul 23, 2011   #5
It is not first paragraph.. it is essay topic

My first paragraph is;

From my point of view the widespread use of the internet has had a tremendous impact on people's lives. Without a doubt, this innovation brings us wide range of knowledge which is very essential for our lives. Thanks to the internet we have an opportunity to reach every sort of information in a very short time, so new generations will be more developed and skilled.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jul 24, 2011   #6
Internet is a proper noun, so it should be capitalized.

You should not use the semi-colon until you understand it better. You can google around for examples of how to use it; examples are not hard to find.

You are using the semi-colon in places where you should use a comma.

First of all, the Internet has many contributions for the students' educational development.
Also:
Last but not least, the Internet provides people an opportunity to communicate in several ways and make their connections stronger.

Okay, so do not use that anymore----> ;
Only use the comma.

Practice typing some of the sentences we corrected. Welcome to EssayForum! :-)
OP muge 5 / 12  
Jul 25, 2011   #7
Thank you very much ef_kevin
i have a ibt 5th august therefore i am trying to do something:)
i always wait for feedbacks for my essays.. :)
your critics are very essential..
thank you again
regards..


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