Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Camille A. Brown: A visual history of social dance in 25 moves


mdamanhuri77 22 / 35 3  
Sep 28, 2016   #1
Camille said that dance is language that can emerge and express a society. It not just a dance but, it is a choreographed by anyone who want to make a sequent body movement. Lots of people should realize that dance need a crativity both individuals and creative identity because social dances named Bubble Up changes and spreads like wildfire.

We have to remember about history of dance. In American-African dances how they could be influenced by history. These are fully adapted by creative movement in the present. We need a huge emotional spirit to create a choreography as like the Cakewalk, the dance that parodied by mannerisms of Southern high society. A mad thing about this dance is performed for the masters who never suspended of being fun.

In the 1980s and 1990s this trend countinued with the emergence of hip-hop, african-american social dance that more vixible that long last past. Camille end his TED's talk with "We speak a common language. We exist and we are free".

fauzankrn 16 / 23 3  
Sep 28, 2016   #2
Hello Mdaman,

Better if you can make this sentence into ACCORDING TO MS.Camille put commasaid that dance is language that canABLE TO emerge and ...

... realize that dance need a crativityCREATIVITY both..

... to create a choreography as like theINSPIRED BY Cakewalk,

GOOD LUCK!
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 28, 2016   #3
Camille said that dance is A language that can ...
It not just a dance but, it is a choreographedCHOREOGRAPHY by anyone who want to make a sequent SEQUENCE body movement.
... that dance need a crativity CREATIVITY FOR both individuals and creative identity because social dances named Bubble Up changes ...

Lots of people should realize that dance need a crativity both individuals ...

confusing sentence. poor coherence. can't get what you meant

We have to remember about THE history of dance.
In American-African dances how they could be influenced by history. ?

In the 1980s and 1990s this trend countinued with the emergence of hip-hop, african-american social dance that more vixible that long last past.

Read again your sentences, make sure that those make a sense and can be easily understand by readers.


Home / Writing Feedback / Camille A. Brown: A visual history of social dance in 25 moves