Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

'camping in the mountains' - Ideal Vacation Literary Essay


SharonNicole 1 / -  
Jul 8, 2012   #1
Hello my name is Sharon.
Help me with my mistakes or fragments or any incorrection or any grammar.
Please. thank you :)

My ideal vacation would be camping in the mountains that are surrounded with many islands or relaxing on the shore of a beautiful lake.

Although I've been to several vacation trips, only two are memorable. The two trips I remember the most are when my family and I went to a small beautiful island in Lake Ouachita, Arkansas as well as when my friends and I rented an amazing little cabin In Lyndale, Texas.

The first vacation trip that was meaningful to me, was when I was fifteen years old. My parents, my sister, my cousins and I went on a family vacation to Lake Ouachita, Arkansas. The thing I will never forget is the beautiful view of the lake from our tents. However, it wasn't just the lake scenery that made this trip so special to me. It was also the time I spent relaxing on the island and also the time I spent enjoying the company of my family. We were there for five days that summer with no TV or no Internet and made memories, I will never forget.

The second trip I took was when I was fourteen years old. My ten friends and I rented a cabin on the campsite in Lyndale, Texas. One thing that I will never forget about this trip was the excitement of riding a horse for the first time. It was an amazing experience to live life without all the technology that we gave today. We spent the entire day exploring the campsite: the beautiful lake, enjoyed the scenery and enjoying each other conversations.

Just about any vacation you take, can be ideal while you spent with those you love. That's why I will never forget my two memorable vacations and why I will always continue to travel to those locations and enjoy the vacation time.

dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 8, 2012   #2
Although I've been toI have gone on several vacation trips, only two of them are the most memorable. Theytwo trips I remember the most are when my family and I went to a small beautiful island in Lake Ouachita, Arkansas as well asand when my friends and I rented an amazing little cabin In Lyndale, Texas.
notypicalblonde 1 / 1  
Jul 9, 2012   #3
Hi, I don't know if you should add more details, as I don't know what this is for and what the requirements are?

Katrina :)
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 9, 2012   #4
Well.... I just gave you my suggestions for this part of your essay in view of improving its presentation.
For example;
"I have been to severl vacation trips" ----------- this sounds improper because you can say that I have been to a particular place. e.g. I have been to New York. But "vacation trips" is not a place. So is my suggestion; I have gone on vacation trips.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'camping in the mountains' - Ideal Vacation Literary Essay