Is the ability to read and write more important today than in the past?
This is my Toefl essay, please help me to check it. Many thanks. :). It's about 335 words.
There has been an inconclusive debate about whether the ability to read and write today is more important than in the past or not. For the sake of this discussion, I argue that the capacity of reading and writing today is more important than in the past because of two following reasons.
Firstly, it could be recognized that nowadays, comprehension and expression are the basic skills to survive at our society. What I mean is that a very long time ago, ancient people can live without being aware of reading and writing, now it is impossible. You have to do read and write many forms such as job application, your mortgage documents. When you come to new place, you have to read map to know how to go to your destination.
Secondly, reading and writing is the rudimentary tools for our communication. There are great deal of methods for us to communicate with each other in modern world, especially with the invention of the Internet people can contact with others all over the world. Facebook, for example, is one of the most popular social network for people around the world to contact with each other. We write a status and your friends will know your feelings, your events by reading your status.
Last but not least, most of jobs require their applicants to have ability to read and write. Due to the rapid development of technology, many a jobs on the labor markets are for literate people and a very few of ones are for people who do not know to read and write. It can be clearly seen that people do not have to do physical work on land anymore, machines do it instead of. Employers need to hire worker who can read the instruction and control the machines.
In conclusion, reading and writing are more and more important in modern world than in the past, mainly due to its role at survival at our society, its role on the communication and finding jobs.
1st paragraph: Delete
or not and For the sake of this discussion . You can change your word choice: "I argue that the ability to read and write today..." This is a good paragraph! You could add one or more sentences to make it better.
2nd paragraph: You can delete these words in the first sentence:
it could be recognized that nowadays . Also, change at to "in".
In the second sentence, delete:
What I mean is that. Also, change can to could. The next sentence, delete "do" and make a slight change: "job application and your mortgage documents". The third sentence, you should add a transition word: Also, when you come to a new place...read a map..." You needed "a" before place and map.
3rd paragraph: When you describe more than one person, place, or thing, you should change is to "are". Ex: "reading and writing are..." Another way to say great deal is "many". I noticed that you use the word "with" often. You can delete "with" when you use the word contact in this paragraph. Since you use the word most, you have to use the plural form "social networks".
4th paragraph: Some of your sentences would be correct, but there is an addition of words that are added that can be corrected such as: most jobs and many jobs. Delete
of one and "of" after instead.
I think if you had one or more sentences, you could have a better conclusion. I hope this helps!