WRITING TASK 1 IELTS - Car ownership in the UK from 1975 to 2005

information from the chart

The line chart belows illustrates the percentage of owning private car in the UK over a period of 10 years from 1975 to 2005.
Overall, It is clear that while the proportion of people having one car, 2 cars and 3 cars increased, the opposite is true for no-car households. Also, no-car household in the UK experienced the biggest change over the period shown.

In 1975, no-car households and one-car households both started at approximately 45%, but later decreased to 38% and 25% of one-car households and no-car households respectively in 1985. After that, there was a significant rise to 45% of one-car households in 2005, also it is the highest point of the period shown while the year 2005 saw a marginal decreased to 22% of no-car households.

Starting at nearly 8% in 1975, the number of people who owned 2 cars increased slightly to just under 15% then rose to 18% in the end of the period. Also, the figures for people who had 3 cars increased gradually from under 5% to 10% in 2005

(177 words)
How much do you think I'll score for this on a 9 band scale

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Your paragraph presentations are difficult to follow. The main reason for the confusion in your presentation is the way that you try to present 2 different sets of information in one sentence. For clarity sake, you must always use only one topic, one measurement reference, per sentence. That is, unless you are doing an equality comparison presentation. I believe you tried to present comparative discussion points in this essay but failed to do it in in a manner that would be clear to the reader.

You have a limited GRA scope in this essay. You are only alternating between the use periods and commas. You should be highlighting more of your simple and complex sentence writing abilities. You are confusing these run-on sentences with complex sentences. It is when you make this error that the confusion begins in your writing and information presentation.

@Holt
Thank you very much.
What I need to do to improve this ?