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IELTS: Task 2 Carry guns or not? No for gun carrying!


pijiuwdw 6 / 8  
Sep 11, 2013   #1
Hi guys,

I really need you to give me some suggestion to my IELTS task 2 essay.

The topic is: Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

I would argue in this essay that governments should make policy to fobbed their residents purchasing guns, because guns carried by people will become a significant factor to decrease the public security and be harmful to the young generation.

First of all, people with guns would make a contribution to increase the ration of crime. As one of the powerful weapons for ordinary people, guns are usually used in crimes to threat or kill the victims. In fact, faced with criminals with guns, such as robbers or murderers, victims are so scared that give up to resist. To a large extent, guns help the criminals become stronger and expand the weakness of victims. Although some people still believe that guns provide people with protection by themselves under the control of government, the truth is that most governments do not properly make the policy to set the limitation to purchase guns, especially in some African countries. If guns would be bought as vegetables and drinks, an increasing number of conflicts will be seen in the society, even turn to be wars.

Second, teenagers will be become more violent and aggressive by taking guns. Due to the lack of self-control and sense of responsibility, many teenagers try to imitate the violent behaviors showed in movies by using guns in reality. In recent years, for instance, various students were shot or threatened by their schoolmates in campus in the USA where taking guns is legal. Most of the young victims lost their life or were hurt physically and mentally while the killers just want to acquire their sense of achievement and make fun from the crime.

Based on the above discussion, we see that taking guns by residents affects the society negatively and brings violence during the growth of the young generation.

Redtape 4 / 31 11  
Sep 11, 2013   #2
I guess this may not be appropriate question for this as the question is talking about police carrying guns where as in you essay you were discussing people with guns.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 11, 2013   #3
I would argue in this essay that governments should make policy to fobbed their residents purchasing guns, because guns carried by people will become a significant factor to decrease the public security and be harmful to the young generation.

Well, IELTS Task 2 tests your essay writing skills and therefore it is good follow the style of an essay rather than answering the prompt direct. This is the general format I suggest others to follow for your introduction;

Hook - write a sentence which is relevant to your topic and that can grab reader's attention
Background of the argument - Discuss the significance of the issue
Your opinion - State your opinion
OP pijiuwdw 6 / 8  
Sep 11, 2013   #4
How about my idea in this essay´╝č
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Sep 11, 2013   #5
rationratio of crime.

.... the more apporoprite usage is "crime rate"

As one of the powerful weapons for ordinary people, guns are usually used in crimes to threat or kill the victims.

...this line needs to be improved in its presentation; you need to express the idea with more clarity;
Guns are a dangerous weapon that can harm lives of people and can be used to commit various crimes. Therefore allowing ordinary people to carry such dangerous arms can be very destructive to society.


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