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TOEFL Essay - Cars cause a lot of air pollution...


inextricable 1 / -  
Mar 30, 2009   #1
This is my first time writing a complete essay. I was too confused when starting on an essay. Please help me. Thank you.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ?
Cars cause a lot of air pollution. Some people think drivers should pay an environmental tax to pay for the pollution caused by their cars.

I strongly agree with the statement that drivers should pay an environmental tax to pay for the pollution caused by their cars. In my view, this payment is obviously their responsibility to pay for cleaning the environment and to support for environmental solutions research.

One important problem with polluted environment is to purify it. This is encountering more and more difficulties, and ficancial problem is also among them. According to a 2007 survey by the TIMEs, due to car smoke, over 10 billion dollars must be paid for fixing pollution problems per a year, and this number is continuously raising. Therefore, people who use cars must to pay environmental tax in order to reduce this financial burden.

In addtion, because serious pollution caused by cars smoke, researching for sollutions of environmental problems need to be intensified. This has also dealt with financial problems. There were much study of air pollution has stopped because of lacking research grant. Examples, Research of Air Pollution of Washington University, Research of Car Fumes of Japanese Pollution Organization and so on ... Of course, who can afford to drive a car should pay extra to support the research.

To conclude, I completely approve people who drive cars should pay environmental tax to contribute to improving polluted environment, especially, in order for freshing the environment and supporting environment protection research.

tasneemspring 3 / 25  
Mar 30, 2009   #2
I think that you should first make a proper introduction for your essay; you do not usually start your essay with your opinion : I agree.

The second point is that, there should be a thesis statement at the end of your first paragragh; a statement that contains briefly the ideas that you are going to discuss.

One more thing; try not to repeat your ideas.

That is all what I have really, I hope it helps.
Mustafa1991 8 / 373 4  
Mar 30, 2009   #3
You need an intro, body, and conclusion.

In the introduction, talk about the much popularized environmental movement which seems to be gaining steam with each passing day. Evaluate the movement, form an opinion, and as an extension of that opinion, form a thesis statement that answers the question of whether you agree or disagree with the above statement.

If you are in support of a tax on cars that pollute, please make sure to read up on something economists like to call negative externalities.

If you are opposed to it, there are a good number of tracks you can take, taking after your approach on the movement to clean up the environment and force accountability in general.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Mar 30, 2009   #4
In addition to the excellent advice above, you might also want to consider that drivers already do pay fuel tax every time they fill up their cars. If you support the idea of an environmental tax, you might want to discuss whether or not this should be implemented as an increase in the existing fuel tax, or if it should be implemented as a separate tax. If you oppose the idea, then of course you can argue that the fact that drivers are already paying so much in taxes means that a new tax is unnecessary. Either way, good luck.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,339 129  
Mar 31, 2009   #5
In my view, this payment it is obviously their responsibility to pay for cleaning the environment and to support for environmental solutions research.

One important problem with polluted environment is to purify it. This is associated with more and more difficulties, and financial problems are also among them. According to a 2007 survey by the TIMEs, due to car smoke, over 10 billion dollars must be paid per year for fixing pollution problems, and this number is continuously raising. Therefore, people who use cars must to pay environmental tax in order to reduce this financial burden.

In addition , because of serious pollution caused by cars' smoke, researching for solutions to environmental problems needs to be intensified. This has also brought financial problems. There were Much study of air pollution has stopped because of lacking research grants. Examples include Research of Air Pollution of Washington University, and Research of Car Fumes of Japanese Pollution Organization. and so on ... Of course, whoever can afford to drive a car should pay extra to support the research.

Good luck with the TOEFL!!! Let us know if you have any questions about the corrections.


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