Would someone please tell me if I'm even on the right track or if my content is too risky? Thanks!
Topic: Stanford students are known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you found intellectually engaging. (1800 characters)
Killer Clown. Jeffrey Dahmer. Cold murderers or men pushed to the brink by society?
John Wayne Gacy Jr., also known as "Killer Clown", murdered at least thirty-three young males, some of whom he sexually assaulted and tortured. Jeffrey Dahmer, a necrophiliac and cannibal, raped and murdered seventeen males. The above facts are frequently emphasized points when these men are discussed and the gruesome details of the crimes are enough to arouse fury and repugnance in anyone. However, it is the lesser-known facts about these serial killers' backgrounds that fascinate me because it offers insight into a criminal's mind and builds the link between all criminals. Gacy had an alcoholic father who frequently abused his children both verbally and physically. Like Gacy, Dahmer also experienced a troubled childhood - he was sexually molested at the tender age of eight. Gacy and Dahmer's sad stories by no means absolve them of their crimes, but they do induce a better understanding of the formation of a criminal. Serial killers are not born cold - their harsh environment moulds them into ruthless killing machines.
Criminals come in two categories: mentally-unstable criminals and society-bred criminals. There is not much we can do about criminals who suffer from insanity but what we do not realize is that many other criminals are assembled by society. Had society been more caring and nurturing, serial killers like Gacy and Dahmer would be non-existent. In order to decrease crime rates, we need to change society and that change begins within ourselves.
Society scorns all criminals and makes the erroneous assumption that they are the root of all evil. The only true culprit is society itself.
Well the subject itself is not risky, but the examples you use to bring out your main idea is pretty risky.
You could mention these people but I would spend more time expanding it to something that discusses the negativities of stereotypes/ generalizations in general rather than just these murderers.
Nope, it doesn't work. Well, that is my impression. I think you'll need a lot more pages in order to back up the assertion, and as it is now, it is very general. If this was a dissertation topic, it would require a huge lit review.
If you want to go this route, I have a book suggestion for you. You'll have to change your thesis to reflect it, and I think it can help you a lot.
I agree with EFKevin- das geht nicht. doesn't work. period.
It's not enough space to develop what you want, and your conclusion- The only true culprit is society itself- isn't backed up by your essay. If that statement were true, why are so few people serial killers? we all live in society. The fathers, in these circumstances, are to blame.
This just isn't good material for a college app so short in my opinion, especially if you're not pursuing a major in ethics or criminal justice, or something like that. Either radically change it, or start over. Sorry man.
wow, i really like yours. its interesting, but is it related to what major you're applying for?
also, i think it might be a bit on the short side!
maybe try talking a bit about how it makes you feel? ratherr than "we..."?
hope this helps!
p.s. critique my essay too! :)
