Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The caused of deforestation around the world. Solution essay.


Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
Nov 27, 2017   #1
Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment.
What do you think can be done to solve this problem?


Forest fragmentation effects



Forests are being exploited for consumer goods in daily across the globe. Which resulting numerous negative impacts on our planet. In this essay, I will present three possible, adequate solutions for this particular issue below.

One feasible solution is to tighten the environmental laws to the logging industry. By constricting the environmental regulation to the lumber industry It would not only reduce the rapid rate of logging but also aid the inhabitants to survive. Therefore, it could unstress the threats from deforestation.

Another viable way to solve this issue is the consumers ought to purchase the substitution of wood made products whenever they have a choice. Specifically, the replacement materials of wood products are usually reusable after being recycled which means they are environmentally friendly. As a result, the patrons of deliberately purchase these products for everyday use around the world would definitely assist the recovery to its cause in a long run.

Finally, the deed of replanting trees from logging companies is also an effective method to solve its problem. In other words, deforestation is killing the habitats of many forms of species. Through reconstructing its re-plant trees process from the originators its issue of lumber companies, it would absolutely help to balance the devastating cause in the first place.

To recapitulate, the demands of timber products from us are inducing foreseeable pitfalls around the world. Though, I believe that by tightening our protection to its environmental laws against the logging industry and the support from its consumers are two ways to tackle this problem. Furthermore, the timber companies themselves should also take their actions in replanting trees at the exploited areas.

Words: 274

Managed to get it done in 40 mins, though I did some corrections afterward. It would be much appreciated if you could score my essay. Thank you.

Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Nov 27, 2017   #2
SG, when you write these practice tests, always use the exam center set up in order to better prepare for the test. You are only cheating yourself when you take longer than the allotted amount of time to write the essay and then even go back to change the way you wrote parts of it. You won't be able to do that during the test. If you persist in practicing in a non-traditional way, you will find yourself having a hard time catching up with the time frame on exam day. Practice in an actual setting. That is the best way to improve your writing skills and scoring potential.

In the first paragraph, the term consumer goods does not apply because consumer goods normally relates to manufactured products available in stores. It does not relate to deforestation. It would have been better to claim that human progress is affecting the forests internationally and as such, results in negative impacts on our forest. Your discussion instruction representation is sufficient. There was no need to mention 3 solutions though because there are only 3 body paragraphs anyway. So you don't need to inform the reviewer about that.

Developing only 3 sentences per paragraph reduces your increased scoring chances. Aim to always present 5 sentences in order to increase the explanation aspect of the paragraph, which in turn results in less stress for the reader and an increased chance of writing more complex sentences. This will increase 2 scoring aspects immediately, the C&C and GRA portions.

Paragraph 3 is the part that I believe you revised. The revision did not work because it is incoherent, was not developed properly, and seems to not really make a valid point in the discussion. No matter how many times I read that part, I cannot make sense of what you are trying to say.

In the conclusion, present the 3 solutions overview before you that there are X number of ways to tackle the problem. That would make the presentation smoother. As for your final score for this essay, I think it will be anywhere between a 5.5 and a 6, depending upon the other details the examiner will consider on exam day. The main problems are the problematic use of lexical resources, confusing C&C presentation, and problematic GRA presentations. Address these problems in your next essay and the practice test should result in a better score.
OP Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
Nov 27, 2017   #3
@Holt, thank you so much for the informative feedback. You are right, this is called cheating if I revise it afterward. From now on, I will follow the actual test setting to practice and try to use various grammatical forms to construct my sentences, though I remember you have reminded me a while ago, I did not fully understand back then.

I have a question to ask, in regard to the problematic use of lexical resources, is it because the words that I use are too basic? Or the paraphrasing words to avoid repetition are the issue?


Home / Writing Feedback / The caused of deforestation around the world. Solution essay.