Causes of crime and activities to prevent this rise in criminal activity. Reasons with examples.

TOPIC:

Each year, the crime rate increases.

What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the 20th century, with the development of industrialization and modernization, it is widely believed that crime statistics in almost all nations acknowledged growth each year. The following essay takes a look at sources of crime and activities to keep this rate intact, action of crime prevention in the future.

To begin with, human beings need to broaden their knowledge of the cause of criminal activities. Personally speaking, the first and foremost reason is lack of opportunities for career to the people in the market. When the person is unable to fulfill the financial requirements of his family and meet basic survival needs, he will commit a crime like robbery to earn more money within less time. Secondly,due to unawareness about what is unlawful acts and ignorance of the repercussions when committing the crime. For instance, on current affairs and social network, in the past few years, the young offender rate increased because they expect that teenagers are not charged with.

As a result, the president and management in school educate children and especially adolescents to study carefully about laws. The government has to take strict actions against criminals whether serious crime or petty crime. For example, capital punishment against serious crimes, particularly rape, murder; is one of the best action to warn others. If other people violate misdemeanors, they will accept a monetary fine or a suspended sentence. Furthermore, in prison terms, the administration should be provided to the prisoner community service which will improve their personality.

Last but not least, from my perspective, crimes are increasing due to unemployment and unawareness, however, the government and the society should join hands against crimes by politeness and severity.

We are in the 21st century, not the 20th century. To avoid such mistakes, do not try to make any time frame references in your presentation. Such errors show a problem with your current events knowledge. You do not even know what century you are currently living in. The prompt clearly asks you provide reasoning topic responses to create your personal opinion statement. The prompt restatement + personal opinion does not meet the discussion requirements. It will receive a failing preliminary score based on the incorrect restatement and lack of writer opinion in relation to the questions being asked.

The reasoning paragraph in relation to the causes comes across as well developed when considering the first reason. However, the second reason does not create a connection with the first reason through a proper transition phrase or sentence. The second reason is grammatically incorrect and not developed enough as an explanation to create a cohesive paragraph presentation. By the way, if you do not say "firstly", you cannot suddenly say "secondly" in the next sentence. When you say "first", the next numerical ordinal is "second".

The solutions paragraph does not develop cohesive and coherent explanations. It lacks a logical explanation and often has unrelated references, creating incoherent and non-cohesive presentations. The lack of proper sentence structure in this paragraph is more evident that in the other, earlier paragraphs as well.

Due to to the lack of a proper concluding summary, the examiner will have no choice but to give this essay a failing score. It cannot get a passing score within any of the individual scoring sections. This is a sad result because you show that you understood the topic and the discussion requirements but your lack of English language thinking and writing skills proved to be the weakest part of this presentation.