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IELTS WRITING TASK 1 = Causes of Land Degradation in The World and Some Regions


niirmala 1 / 1  
Feb 2, 2016   #1
The contributing factors of global land damage (deforestation, over-cultivation, over-grazing, and others) are illustrated by the pie chart, and the figures among the three areas which underwent land degradation throughout the 1990s is compared by the table. As is observed from both graphs, over-grazing owed to the most land degradation, and Europe was the continent with the highest percentage of total land degraded compared to other two regions.

In comparison, the proportion of deforestation required a fifth less than that of over-grazing which had the largest proportion by 35%. It was then followed by the percentage of over-cultivation that was just below 30%, almost identical with that of deforestation. The other causes, furthermore, took five times less percentage than that of over-grazing.

In terms of areas, 11.3% of over-grazing had the highest percentage in Oceania although it only stood at the second stage (13%) as the total land degraded. Following this, the percentage pf North America approximately twice less than that in Oceania. Compared to the three regions, Europe had the largest total land damage slightly above 20% followed by deforestation and over-cultivation as the highest proportion compared to both continents (9.8% and 7.7% respectively).

To sum up, over-grazing was the most primary problem which influenced to land damage in the world, and Europe had the worst land degraded due to three given causes.




justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Feb 2, 2016   #2
Hi Juwita, first of all, thank you for attaching the graph to the essay.
This helps the editors provide you with an accurate feedback and in
the end give you peace of mind that the feedback you got is credible and
is base upon the same study that you did on the graph.

Kindly find my contributions below.

- illustrated byin the pie chart,
- and the figures among the three areas whichthat underwent land degradation
- throughout the 1990s is compared byin the table.
- As is observed fromWith the analysis from both graphs,
- compared to the other two regions.

- Furthermore, theThe other causes, furthermore, took five

- To sum up, over-grazing wasis the most primary
- problem whichthat influenced to land damage in the world,
- and Europe had the worst land degradedsituation due to three given causes.

There you have it Juwita, I hope the corrections helped and please be careful with your is / was, this is minor
but they mean a lot in making sure that your essay is written well.


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