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Causes and measures to overcome overweight.


jalp 13 / 34 7  
Jun 24, 2018   #1
Today, more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

OVERWEIGHT, WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS TO THIS PROBLEM.



Obesity has been a health problem until now. Fast food, I think, is one of the primary reasons of this problem. This essay will discuss the causes of overweight and possible solutions to solve this issue.

With the increasing amount of fast food chains, coming out like mushrooms in cities, the number of people who are above their desired weight are rising too. Fast food restaurants serve high caloric and greasy snacks with carbonated drinks that can gain weight and also unhealthy to the body. As a result, more and more people become obese because of its accessibility and easy preparation.

Another cause of overweight is stress. When people are stressed, they tend to relieve this by over eating. Some may even call it, stress eating. Also, because of the hustle and bustle life in the city, people forget to eat right on time or prepare healthy food which results to purchasing take-out food.

The government are taking measures to stop this erratic health problem. As a popular adage goes, prevention is better than cure. By spreading awareness and education people to a healthy lifestyle, this can help the public to avoid unnecessary food intake and practice healthy living such as promoting exercise and activities that can lose weight. Moreover, a healthy lifestyle can reduce the feeling of stress, by having enough energy for work, physically and mentally, thus, hitting two birds with one stone.

All things considered, taking care of one's health should be on top of the list. Overweight is a problem that must be eradicated as soon as possible. To overcome this, awareness, with a combination of action to a healthy lifestyle should be practiced.
nvijai 1 / 2 1  
Jun 24, 2018   #2
Hello Jea! I think your essay is very effective in persuading why obesity is a problem. There are some things that need to be fixed however. The word "overweight" is improperly used several times. Something like "obesity" would probably work better.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,289 3984  
Jun 25, 2018   #3
Jea, your language is confusing in this essay. It leaves the reader feeling stressed and confused about what you wish to say. Your C&C and GRA score for this essay may be very low because of the coherence and sentence structure problems of the paragraphs you presented.

Since this is a direct question essay, the opening paraphrase should include a direct response to each topic posed for discussion. My take on this would be similar to something like this:

Weight gain is an ever increasing health problem in today's society. In my opinion, the two causes of this problem are psychological stresses of everyday life combined with the fast food lifestyle that people enjoy today. Therefore, the solution to the weight problem is related to the two causes. There are a number of solutions that can be used to address this situation.

If you create a connection between the psychological stress, such as having a limited amount of time to eat while at work and having a heavy workload, then the solution relating to stress management and healthy eating would be easier understood by the reader. Connect the two topics to the solution using a transition sentence or paragraph. Outline the discussion before you write the draft essay.

A few confusing statements make the essay problematic to understand:

with carbonated drinks that can gain weight and also unhealthy to the body.

You mean ... that cause weight gain are unhealthy for the body.

obese because of its accessibility and easy preparation.

... of accessibility to fast food.

By spreading awareness and education people to a healthy lifestyle

... and educating...

Be more careful of the way you develop your sentences. Make sure your message is clear in every paragraph. Remember, what may sound right in your native tongue may not come across in a clear manner in translated English.
OP jalp 13 / 34 7  
Jul 3, 2018   #4
@Holt
Noted. ✔️
Thank you, again, for the correction.
Highly appreciated.


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