Jea, your language is confusing in this essay. It leaves the reader feeling stressed and confused about what you wish to say. Your C&C and GRA score for this essay may be very low because of the coherence and sentence structure problems of the paragraphs you presented.
Since this is a direct question essay, the opening paraphrase should include a direct response to each topic posed for discussion. My take on this would be similar to something like this:Weight gain is an ever increasing health problem in today's society. In my opinion, the two causes of this problem are psychological stresses of everyday life combined with the fast food lifestyle that people enjoy today. Therefore, the solution to the weight problem is related to the two causes. There are a number of solutions that can be used to address this situation.
If you create a connection between the psychological stress, such as having a limited amount of time to eat while at work and having a heavy workload, then the solution relating to stress management and healthy eating would be easier understood by the reader. Connect the two topics to the solution using a transition sentence or paragraph. Outline the discussion before you write the draft essay.
A few confusing statements make the essay problematic to understand:
with carbonated drinks that can gain weight and also unhealthy to the body.
You mean ... that cause weight gain are unhealthy for the body.
obese because of its accessibility and easy preparation.
... of accessibility to fast food.
By spreading awareness and education people to a healthy lifestyle
... and educating...
Be more careful of the way you develop your sentences. Make sure your message is clear in every paragraph. Remember, what may sound right in your native tongue may not come across in a clear manner in translated English.