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Causes and Solutions to Air Pollution (IELTS Writing Task 2)


rose427 1 / 1  
Nov 15, 2019   #1
Prompt:
Air pollution is one of the largest problems the world is facing today.
What are some causes of air pollution and what measures can be proposed to solve this problem?

(Also if you happen to find any phrase or sentence unnatural, or spot any misused word, please kindly let me know. Many thanks in advance!)

It is undeniable that air pollution is one of the most pressing environmental issues that the world has to face today. This essay attempts to explore some major causes of the issue and propose some possible solutions to it.

Although air pollution results from various factors, primarily responsible for it is none other than human activity. In many parts of the world, intact forests have been cleared at an astonishing rate for pasturelands and croplands, with a number of illegal logging cases for valuable hardwoods. Forests, known for its ability to massively utilize carbon dioxide and release oxygen and water vapor into the atmosphere, play an essential role in purifying the air we breathe. For this reason, their removal has done more harm than good to the air quality around the area, or even on a global scale. In addition to deforestation, another human-related leading cause of air pollution is vehicle emissions, which in fact is the predominant source of air pollution in city environments. With the rapidly expanding urbanization across the world, the motor vehicle population grows exponentially, meaning that an elevated level of pollutants is produced in the urban air on a daily basis.

Fortunately, several measures can be taken to protect the global air from further contamination. An effective method to cut down on emissions in the cities is to promote the use of environmentally friendly transports. Alternatives such as public transportation and fully electric vehicles either minimize emission per vehicle or do not emit exhaust fumes, therefore will help reduce vehicle emissions significantly. Another measure pertains to how forests should be protected and managed. It will be the government's responsibility to enforce tighter regulation on deforestation as well as stricter punishment for illegal logging. In other words, forest clearance for any purpose will be restricted unless it is utterly necessary, and pushing up the penalty will discourage people from violating the laws.

In conclusion, our mistreatment of our environment has greatly contributed to the cause of air pollution. However, as long as we take appropriate action with keen patience, it is possible that we can bring the air quality in our living areas back to its clean and fresh form.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,062 374  
Nov 16, 2019   #2
@rose427
Hi. Welcome to the forum! Good luck with your IELTS tasks; I hope this feedback helps you.

While I appreciate the straightforward and shortened approach to the introductory paragraph, I find that it lacks briefing the readers on what to anticipate. Here, you should also incorporate what the core attributes of your writing will be. Put down here as well a single core value that you believe will be the cornerstone of the rest of your writing.

Tackling the body paragraphs themselves, try to be more specific with what you need in the written text.

The conclusion should also be given more attention than this. What you can do is to omit the usage of repetitive sentences when explaining (ie. take a look at the third sentence of your third paragraph). This will give you more space to discuss things that are actually important for the rest of your essay.
OP rose427 1 / 1  
Nov 17, 2019   #3
@Maria
Greatly appreciate your feedbacks!


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