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Task 2 Causes and solutions of climate change - a major problem that could severely impact human


phatdanghocielts 3 / 5 3  
Nov 26, 2020   #1
Could you have a look at my essay ? Every contributions is priceless. Thank you

Climate change is one of the most dangerous threats that humans ever faced. It is projected to affect billions of people in the future.

What are the causes of climate change?
What could be done to solve this problem?


------------------------------------My Essay-------------------------------------
Climate change has been considered the most pressing issue that could result in catastrophic weather events. Billions of people are predicted to be severely endangered in the future. Therefore, the reasons leading to climate change should be taken into consideration and there are some resolutions in response to those impacts.

There is a myriad of factors that accelerate climate change but fossil fuel and deforestation are considered as the main contributors to this extreme event. Carbon dioxide, the key element that causes climate change, is discharged through the process of burning fossil fuel along with other greenhouse gases. Those airborne substances let the sun's light get through them but prevent the heat from escaping. As a result, the trapped heat leads to an increase in overall temperature, which promotes climate change. Besides, deforestation also influences the number of greenhouse gases in the air. Carbon dioxide is converted into oxygen in the leaves by a process called photosynthesis. Therefore, this process would be inhibited if logging practices were conducted. Both two elements could increase the number of greenhouse gases in the air, leading to the growth of global temperature thus contributing enormously to climate change.

Some resolutions can be done to effectively address this event. Fossil fuel should be replaced by renewable energies as they are eco-friendly and easy to regenerate. For example, solar or wind energies can be unlimitedly obtained from solar panels and wind farms. Another method is to conduct reforestation of damaged forests. Carbon dioxide can be reduced by the photosynthesis process and therefore, replating trees could promote a decrease in the amount of Co2 in the atmosphere. If these two methods were fully adopted, there would be a significant improvement in climate change.

In conclusion, climate change has always been a major problem that could severely impact humanity by creating extreme weather events. Any hesitation to solve the issue could lead to the deaths of billions of people.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Nov 26, 2020   #2
Kindly remember that you are scored on the accuracy of your restated information. You should never change the original information in your restatement because that changes the overall presentation from the original. You are only supposed to present a copy of that presentation in your restatement. The information must remain the same for Task Accuracy considerations. There are differences between the original and your information presentation:

Original Information:
- Climate change is one of the most dangerous threats
- humans ever faced.
- It is projected to affect billions of people in the future.

Your information:
- Climate change has been considered the most pressing issue ( should be rephrased as dangerous threat)
- result in catastrophic weather events ( should reference the threat that humans face)
- Billions of people are predicted to be severely endangered in the future. ( They are not endangered, they are affected)

These errors in English comprehension skills show that you did not really understand the discussion topic as it was presented in the original prompt. Your LR score will be in the failing range since you showed that you do not know how to use synonyms in a manner that will help you prove your English comprehension skills. Even if you use advanced English words such as myriad in the later presentation, the fact that your restatement was incorrect already proves a lack of English comprehension skills.

You did a good job of discussing your reasons though, which would help you get a better C&C score, but still, it would be held back by the improper prompt restatement in terms of scoring considerations. Your summary conclusion should have included a reference to the original topic, causes, solutions, and a closing sentence. You should have 5 sentences presented in that paragraph, not just 2 sentences.
michaeljackson2 2 / 5  
Nov 27, 2020   #3
I am impressed by your vocabulary. You used a wide range of vocabulary and lots of academic words.

However, about the reason paragraph, you only give one idea: the main cause is around Carcbon dioxide.
SofiaJohnson 1 / 5 3  
Nov 30, 2020   #4
What great writing! I would just read It over again and again, slowly getting rid of short words without meaning, like "as" or "this". Good writing is always clear and concise. There are a few sentences that have unnecessary fillers. If you get rid of those, the sentences won't be so full and flow much better! This definitely takes some time and revising:) "There is ... change, but fossil fuel ... considered as the main contributors ..."


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