Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

IELTS Writing Task 2: Causes and Solutions of International Tourism

Ulfaidrus_flip 5 / 5 1  
Feb 14, 2018   #1
Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes.

Masses criticize international travelers due to dangerous they may affect, namely spoiling environment and custom of local countries. This issue can be overcome by adopting viable measures involving both government and tourist agencies.

Many indigenous people assume that foreign travelers often deteriorate the environmental health. This is because visitors may contribute pollution towards to air, soil, and water. For instance, the demand for transports producing fume exhaust contaminating the air of tourist destination will increase. Besides, they always dirty surroundings by irresponsibly throwing their rubbish not directly into a trash. Therefore, local authorities should encourage holidaymakers to use public vehicles, such as a bus. Besides, they should campaign about how to maintain sanitary by giving a guidance of putting a warning in every holiday site. Moreover, fining litterbugs can be an effective method.

Furthermore, many natives consider foreigners' unconscious behavior as disrespectful due to cultural differences. To illustrate, a traveler may touch a sacred statue, step a holy tomb, or make scratches of an ancient treasure. In addition, when enjoying their trip in a developing Southeast Asian country, western vacationers often only wear underwear inviting a lot of unwanted stares as it is impolite according to the local people. Hence, tourist agencies should inform holidaymakers regarding the regulation and custom of their hosts, such as how to behave and dress appropriately.

To sum up, there are several reasons causing making a trip to other countries may cause hazards. However, providing that tourists are well-informed about how to avoid the dangerous, this issue can be addressed.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,574 4446  
Feb 15, 2018   #2
Ulfa, your opening statement is expressive but confusing to read due to your lack of English grammar knowledge. The word you should have used in the first sentence was "dangers" not "dangerous". You must read more English written material by native English speakers so that you will see and understand how the British form their sentences. It will also help you learn the rudiments of English writing in a manner that no English classes or IELTS tutoring ever can. Your whole essay will not get a very good Lexical Resource and GRA score. These are the 2 sections that are pulling down your score to a non-passing level.

In addition to that, you failed to properly discuss the task using the 3 body paragraph presentation. If you notice, you were given a total of 3 topics to discuss in the body namely:

1. Reasons people believe that tourism is bad for their country;
2. One method that you suggest in order to change the negative attitude towards tourists;
3. Example of an effective way of doing this.

When you are given a specific discussion outline as in this case, always make sure to use the given outline as the topics for your body paragraphs. That is expected and that is what will make writing these sorts of essays easier for you to accomplish.

You also need to have a uniform set of sentences based on the writing guidelines. That means, no less than 3 but no more than 5 sentences per paragraph. Needless to say, your opening and closing statements do not fall under the C&C requirements of the IELTS Task 2 test and as such, will be given a lower score because of the incomplete sentence structure.

There are many examples of how to write proper opening and closing paragraphs here at EF. All you have to do is click on the similar discussions link in order to read those samples and the advice given to them for improvement in their written work. You might be able to pick up a few pointers from the mistakes of others as well.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Causes and Solutions of International Tourism