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IELTS writing task 2: The causes and solutions of reoffending

Sunny0629 3 / 5 1  
Jan 7, 2023   #1
The question:
Write about the following topic:
Research suggests that many prisoners commit crimes again after being released from prison.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

The answer:
Nowadays, there are more and more released offenders who tend to commit crimes again. The unaltered pattern of a criminal's behaviour and people's discrimination against them contributed to this phenomenon.

Numerous criminals choose to reoffend because prisons do not affect their mind, they still act as they did before they stayed in a cell or even worse than before. Prisons should do more to educate and rehabilitate prisoners than only to punish or imprison them. Punishment will genuinely make those offenders feel suffering, but suffering does not necessarily make them want to be proper citizens, they may still commit crime as before. They will still use illegal means to acquire others' assets or use violence to solve problems when they are out of gaol, if prisons fail to drive home to these criminals that committing crime is a shame, and the price of crime.

Secondly, people's prejudice against these people released from prison (even though they hope to become proper citizens) can also lead them to reoffend. Due to this discrimination, it is difficult for a former criminal to find employment, not only that critical units of the state would not accept them, but also small businesses and even they cannot be a courier or cleaner. Numerous former criminals are unable to find a job and cannot even feed themselves and their families, so they can only rob or steal others' property to make sure they can survive.

This trend can be tackled in two ways. First, prisons should strengthen the psychological construction of criminals, rather than just focusing on using stiff punishment. Making criminals not want to commit crimes is far more effective in reducing repeat crime than making criminals fear punishment. If an ex-criminal deeply believes that crime is shameful, he will not commit it again even if he has the ability and the opportunity. The second solution is that the government can teach these released prisoners skills which can let them survive in society and strengthen their employment. For these released offenders who want to become qualified citizens, if they can feed themselves in a legal and decent way, they are less likely to commit another crime.

In conclusion, prisons should pay more attention to the psychological education of prisoners. And in the meantime, offering jobs to ex-offenders could also help tackle the rise in reoffending. (389 words)

And excuse me, could someone please tell me the approximate score of this essay in TA, LR, CC and GRA respectively if it is in a real IELTS test?

Thank you for reading this paper and providing valuable comments. Have a nice day!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,562 4442  
Jan 11, 2023   #2
could someone please tell me the approximate score of this essay

Contact me privately for comprehensive scoring services. It is not part of our free review offering anymore.

The standard format of a task 2 essay is 4 paragraphs unless it is a discuss both views and give your opinion presentation. In which case there is a specific 5 paragraph (optional) presentation that can be used in the presentation. This presentation is, in effect, over discussed since the maximum writing requirement is 300 words. You already knew that didn't you? You already copied my advice to give to a student here. Which is why I was hesitant to advice you until it became necessary to do so. That is why you have the plagiarism warning.

Your main problem is over-discussion. Do not write more than 5 sentences per paragraph. conciseness gets a better score.

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