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What causes someone to leave his or her country to look for opportunities in a different place.


viho0970 1 / 1  
May 11, 2019   #1
Many people believe in the power of a life abroad, and they consider it as an efficient shortcut to reach their success. From my perspectives, this trends of resettling in another country is related to causes that mainly depend on one's life expectation.

For those who are ambitious to learn and work, moving to another country such as the developed world is to improve their career prospects or even better turn their life around. They believe the place would offer a dream job, one with higher payment and fewer working hours. Moreover, the place can help them be sufficient in a second language. This allows the people to soak up the new culture and to make their life be more like of an adventure with full of eye-opening experiences. For this reasons, many Asian well-off parents send their children to attend in the renowned university in the developed world, hoping that their children would benefit from its high-qualified education system. However, learning experiences through working and studying will not a cause that appeal some who come from the developed country to leave their world.

Some of such people choose a life in another hometown to enjoy and be happy. They might abandon a metropolis in which the pace of life is so speedy and they often suffer from stress and frustration. By living in another place in a less developed country, they can gain happiness and feel a sense of fulfillment due to the lower living cost and the amount of freetime. Living in another part of the globe turns out to be a choice of living a life more balanced between work and personal life.

In conclusion, while some people live abroad for better learning experiences, others choose a life abroad due to a more fulfilled life. Generally, living abroad opens many valuable opportunities for various aspects of life.

Thank for your reading this!! I really wonder how I can improve this essay. And also how to make it shorter but remain the ideas in it !!

Maria [Contributor] - / 274 137  
May 11, 2019   #2
@viho0970
Watch out for phrasing mistakes that can affect the overall quality of your essay. You should try to omit words that do not add value to your sentences/essay. Doing this will heavily help you structure your essay in a way that you are able to optimize the space that you have. Try to also avoid using repetitive thoughts/language - and instead, try opting for a more concise and in-depth approach to writing that will ensure that you have more direction.

Let's revise a couple portions of your essay.

A lot of people believe that moving abroad is equivalent to a shortcut to success. From my perspective, this trend is due to relative expectations of people.

Ambitious and hardworking individuals see moving to a developed country as a way to improve their career prospects. There are beliefs on having a dream job characterized with higher payments and fewer working hours. This can also become a way to learn a second language.* Moreover, this lets people immerse in a new culture for adventurous and eye-opening experiences. [...]


*I suggest revising this portion because unless you can find a direct correlation between learning a second language and moving overseas, it seems sort of lost in the thought profess of this paragraph.

Try to be wary of instances wherein you were unable to relay the full details of your thoughts. Try to be cautious when you are concluding.

Best of luck!
OP viho0970 1 / 1  
May 12, 2019   #3
Hi : ))) @Maria
Thanks a lot !!!! I really appreciate your advice !!


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