What are some causes of stress among young people and How could this be ameliorated?

In modern life,when the standard of living is increasing more and more, people do not need to worry about their phycal lifes too much, so they pay more attention to how to be satisfied and deal with the stress problem. According to psychologists' statistics, the rate of young people who get stressed is growing, especially in developed countries.

In the fact that they interact with technology products such as the laptop, TV, the tablet, ipads, and so on; and they spend too much time on them that causes them to not have time for real communicatin and outdoor activities. For example,they can use computers in order to chat with their friends instead of going out together. When a person does not have interactin with people around him, he can be upset and lonely easily, which causes stress. Another reason is pressure of studying.Normally, a teenager has to spend more than four or five hours at their school and three or four more hours on studying at home per day. That leads to the lack of time for relaxing. In addition, they are under pressure from the exams in school and some of them are scared.

There are some solutions in order to deal with these problem. Parents should take care of theirs children and motivate them join in outdoor activities like: play sport, go to picnic, go out with their friends,travelling and so on, so that they can balance their children's schedules and help them to relax. Moreover, schools should have more classes in real life such as communication skills class, dance class that is useful to develop student's communication, and they have chances to make more interaction with people around them.

Ultimately, I believe this problem will be solved. Modern society will always have its share of stress, but by taking a more enlightened,long-term view of success, parents and schools can reduce the extraordinary amount of pressure that so many young people face.

Thanks everybody for checking and fixing my essay!

In the fact that they interact with technology products such as the laptop, TV, the tablet, ipads, and so on; and they spend too much time on them that causes them to not have time for real communicatin and outdoor activities.

Too wordy and the semicolon should not be there. I suggest proofreading this.

this is a well explained essay but i agree with the person above it is too wordy

You need to work a bit harder to create a better essay. If you do not have a length requirement, this should definitely be longer. Explain the issue more, suggest solutions, and eliminate the many spelling errors that you have. This can be done with the post feature on this forum or with any word processor.

Good luck! I hope to see the next draft you have when you write it.

In the first line you say phycal lifes. I think you meant physical lives.
Also in the second paragraph you say communicatin and interactin when they are supposed to be communication and interaction.
You could expand on how they they satisfy themselves and deal with their stress. Also you could relate the essay to how this problem effects you personally.

In modern life, the standard of living is increasing

.... I guess what you mean by physical lives is about physical activities.
...people do not need to worry too much about their physical activities.


how to be satisfied and dealt with ... OR .. how to be satisfied and how to deal with ...
However, I feel this sentence sounds weak as an idea :(

Your introduction has a few issues. It does not properly introduce the topic and tends to talk of irrelevant things. Also the sentences there are loosely connected. : (