Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Causes why young people have not much time for their needs and are under lots of pressure to study


maily257 3 / 6  
Apr 29, 2017   #1

Youngsters spend most of their time studying



It is undoubted that young people now have tendency to have little time and be under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. There can be some vital causes of this alarming issue, which are education system. parent's expectation and future jobs as well.

To begin with, the education systems in some countries are the main contributors to this problem. As we can easily see, students are judged their knowledge throughout a huge number of exams. It means that they have to study hard to pass exams with flying colours. Besides that, they also study many subjects varying from Math to Music. Clearly, the studying of these subjects accounts students a lot of time.

Another cause is the parent's expectation. From parent's viewpoint, the harder children study, the more successful they are in both studying and their own lives. Thus, parents often put extra pressure on their child to fulfill their own expectation. For example, many parents are willing to force their child to register a lot of courses and not allow them to take part in any activities. Unluckily, the overexpectation just brings back more unexpected results than positive ones.

The last cause to mention is the future jobs. Many people believe that having a good degree is the ticket to give a well-paid job, especially in today competitive environment. As a consequence, they put extra effort and spend most of their time studying.

In conclusion, the young must have an all-round view about this problem. It is advised that both the young and society should alter their mind to elimate this negative problem as soon as possible.

syamsiahRahim 9 / 15 3  
May 1, 2017   #2
hi maily

I have read your essay and will give you some feed back

I think you has given a clear overview but you should present your clear position throughout respond the essay question.

The last cause to mention is the future jobs. (...)

You should complete your explanation with evidence to make your essay more logically.
also, try to use more connector device to make your essay coherence and cohesion.
OP maily257 3 / 6  
May 1, 2017   #3
@syamsiahRahim
Thanks so much. Your comment helps me a lots.


Home / Writing Feedback / Causes why young people have not much time for their needs and are under lots of pressure to study