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CBEST writing - individual efforts to improve environment and preserve the planet


yosaris_22 1 / 1  
Feb 4, 2021   #1
Hello, I am preparing for CBEST. I am just at the beginning of practicing writing, so any feedback will be appreciated! Thank you!

Prompt:

An important issue in today's world is improving our environment and preserving the planet.


However, some people believe that individual efforts to combat pollution, global warming, and the depletion of natural resources are not likely to make a difference. Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with this opinion, Support your opinion with specific reasons.

There's no doubt that protecting the planet and helping our environment is a major concern. Some people believe that even one person's contribution to preserving our planet is making a difference in the way we live our lives. Others believe that individual efforts to reduce pollution, fight global warming and avoid natural resources depletion are not going to change anything. I strongly agree that each of us can make a difference in saving our planet and environment.

There's no secret that when we buy certain kinds of products, manufacturers produce more of them. The same rule works when we are buying more environmentally friendly products. For instance, when we buy more electric cars, using which is helping to reduce carbon dioxide emission, the market will produce more of these cars to satisfy the buyers' needs. Another example is when people are buying chemical sunscreens that contain no elements damaging coral reefs, which are one of the most valuable ecosystems on Earth. A few years ago you barely could find this type of sunscreens, however today they are becoming more popular each year and you easily can find them in-store and online.

In addition to that, individual action is a part of the collective. While one person's impact will not have a huge effect on the environmental condition, if everyone takes up an environmentally friendly lifestyle, the result will help save the planet. When we choose to eat less meat, take shorter showers or take a bus instead of driving, we make a statement that our actions matter and spread awareness. Even one person can inspire other people around to do the same and normalize environmentally friendly behavior and habits.

In conclusion, I would like to say, that individual actions have an impact on protecting our planet and improving the environment. While one person cannot save the world on their own, he or she might be a part of the solution. Even little changes can make a big difference if taken up by enough people.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,301 3340  
Feb 4, 2021   #2
I am just wondering why you are using an IELTS Task 2 essay prompt for the CBEST practice essay writing. The topics used and audience target for CBEST essays are not the same as the IELTS essays so I am afraid that you may be practicing in the wrong manner. The CBEST essay prompts are totally different from what you have used as the CBEST practice essays engage you in writing for a specific or target audience. This is not the same manner that an IELTS prompt is written in. There are free CBEST prompts available online, I suggest you use those instead of the IELTS practice prompts. Anyway, I will do my best to review your essay in a general manner as I cannot apply the CBEST criteria on this prompt. I will do that next time, when you use a CBEST prompt for your essay practice.

This is a pretty good written discussion. It covers all the bases in proving that you strongly agree with the opposing discussion topic. You were able to clearly defend your stance, provide appropriate examples to support your claims, and make proper representations regarding why your opinion is acceptable to a large extent. That said, this would get an excellent score if you were taking an IELTS test. As for the CBEST, the scoring criteria is different so I cannot say the same for that test. You are not writing for a specific audience in this case, only yourself, so that is the biggest problem I have in reviewing this paper. The prompt failed to make you follow the CBEST writing standards.
OP yosaris_22 1 / 1  
Feb 4, 2021   #3
@Holt
Thank you for the feedback! I actually got this prompt from CBEST test prep book (Cliff Notes), so I am confused about how that happened. I will make sure to check other sources as well.


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