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Cbest - At some point in our lives, all of us have focused some sort of rejection or defeat


pbhutiani 2 / 4 1  
Sep 24, 2015   #1
Pls help and correct my essay. I have Cbest this weekend.

thank you!

At some point in our lives, all of us have faced some sort of rejection or defeat. Write an essay about a time in your life when you experienced such a rejection. How did the rejection affect you?

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Most people think of rejection as a negative experience. We are quick to become discouraged when we are defeated. However, there are many valuable lessons to be learned in the face of rejection. The occasion of my rejection and humiliation was not getting into the institute of fashion designing. I suffered many defeats during the selections, but these defeats helped me to refocus my efforts and improve my performance considerably.

My sister Sara has always been role model to me. I used to follow every path she chooses. When she decided to become a fashion designer, I became automatically interested. She is creative, artistic, imaginative and passionate about fashion designing. After seeing how much she is enjoying this program I decided to follow her path of fashion designing too. I was not very good in drawing sketches so I worked hard on my drawings and didn't have a knack for color, textile detail and style. I spent hours working on a small sketch to be perfect like hers. I was not able to pass the pre-qualification test and hence, did not get into the program.

I was really disappointed, that I didn't get selected. I didn't feel like talking to anyone or doing anything. I really got disheartened and was clueless what to do next. My sister tried talking to me but I couldn't understand her point of view. My mind was clouded with all negative thoughts.

I wanted it so badly that it never occurred to me that maybe it wasn't for me. The rejection helped me realize that I need to work hard and follow my dreams and passion rather than my sister's. When I got over my self-pity, I started working towards my goal in computers. It was hard but I was enjoying and finally found my passion. Eventually the rejection became the driving force behind my success. I often speculate on what type of fashion designer I would be if I got admission in fashion designing program last year, but I am certain I wouldn't be as dedicated and focused as I am today.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 24, 2015   #2
Pb, this is a very good essay. While the grammar is not perfect, the story that you told and the lessons that you gleaned from the rejection are well expressed and portrayed. That said, I'd like to point out some problem areas in your essay with corrections:

institute of fashion design

I suffered many defeats during the selection

improve my performance.

My sister Sara has always been A role model to me

After seeing how much she ENJOYED this program , I decided

didn't have a knack for color, textile, detail , and style.

I spent hours working on PERFECTING A SMALL SKETCH TO RESEMBLE HERS.

I was really disappointed that I didn't get selected.

clueless ABOUT what to do next.

I got ADMITTED

INTO THE FASHION DESIGN program

Based upon this essay that you wrote, I would say that you are prepared to take the test and I believe your will have positive results :-)


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